1
00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:02,835
♪♪
2
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,173
♪ It's gonna get
a little weird ♪
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,675
♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪
4
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,510
♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪
5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,345
♪ I'm from another dimension ♪
6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,713
♪ Gonna get a little weird ♪
7
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,548
♪ Gonna have a good time ♪
8
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:17,950
♪ I ain't from
'round here ♪
9
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:20,119
♪ I'm from another, woo-hoo ♪
10
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,189
♪ Yeh-heah ♪
11
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,326
♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪
12
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,161
♪ I'm talking puppies ♪
13
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,296
♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa,
pa, pa, pa, pa ♪
14
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,698
♪ Ooh ♪
15
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,566
♪ It's gonna get
a little weird ♪
16
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,468
♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪
17
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,037
♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪
18
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:41,573
♪ I'm from another dimension ♪
19
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,081
- ( bell ringing )
- ( playing "Twinkle
Twinkle Little Star" )
20
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:52,251
Mr. Candle said
I'm gonna be a musician.
21
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,087
Sweet. I got
champion swimmer.
22
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,257
I was gonna get dressed,
but now I don't need to.
23
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,727
Wow. Everyone's getting
really awesome careers.
24
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:05,030
I can't wait to find out
what my future holds.
25
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,099
( nervous laughter )
26
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:10,602
MAN: Star Butterfly.
27
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,772
- Please sit.
- Okay.
28
00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,775
Help yourself
to some candy.
29
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,044
No, thank you.
30
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:24,383
I'm just really excited
to have my fortune told.
31
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,118
How do you do it?
Read palms?
32
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,254
Converse with the dead?
Examine head lumps?
33
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,891
Nope. Just normal
guidance counselor stuff.
34
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,427
Have you given much thought
to your future?
35
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,229
Totally.
36
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:40,132
When I grow up,
I wanna raise warnicorns.
37
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,733
( whinnying )
38
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,969
Well, that seems like
a fun hobby.
39
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,305
But you might not
have much time for hobbies
40
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,739
as the queen of Mewni.
41
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,675
Queen?
42
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:53,745
I may not know
your fortune,
43
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:57,316
but your future
is set in stone.
44
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,451
Stone?
45
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,420
Are you dating anyone?
46
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,255
What? Uh, no.
47
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,790
What about that Marco boy?
48
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,758
Got a secret crush on him?
49
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,427
He's my roommate.
We're just friends.
50
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,496
Yeah, that's weird
to date your roommate.
51
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,798
Maybe someone else then.
It's never too early to start
52
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,833
searching for the future
king of Mewni.
53
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,101
Maybe.
54
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,237
Cheer up, Star.
55
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,672
Or should I say
Your Majesty.
56
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,674
Hmm.
57
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:26,912
So how'd it go?
58
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:30,249
Or we can catch up later.
59
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,417
Mr. Diaz.
60
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,520
I've been very anxious
to speak to you.
61
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,755
Seen my test scores,
have you?
62
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,423
Indeed.
63
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,459
Garbage Island?!
64
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,594
What's the use of taking
honors classes
65
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,863
if it gets you sent
to the middle of nowhere?
66
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,833
So don't go.
At least you have a choice.
67
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,102
Apparently, the only
thing in my future
68
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:52,304
is being queen.
69
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,873
Oh, man, I'd love
to be queen.
70
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,643
You never have to
think about what to wear.
71
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,311
You have somebody
do that for you.
72
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,779
( groans )
73
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,814
People would just love you
because they have to,
74
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:04,683
no matter how weird
you are.
75
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,717
( groans )
76
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,553
You never have
to bathe alone.
77
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,421
Marco, please stop
talking.
78
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:15,894
Head janitor,
Garbage Island.
79
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,729
( sighs )
80
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,233
( plopping sound )
81
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,035
I'll come back later.
82
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:34,146
All right, sir,
phase one is complete.
83
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,480
What's next?
84
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,982
Sir, are you there?
85
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,718
You idiot!
86
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,987
You forgot
the most important part. Me!
87
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,989
I got confirmation.
88
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,758
- Starco is
completely platonic.
- MARCO: Starco?
89
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,328
Make sure there's
no possibility of them
90
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,896
ever being a thing.
91
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,764
Absolutely, sir.
92
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,067
Also, stop offering
everyone candy.
93
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,169
You're gonna blow
my cover.
94
00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,870
I want her back.
95
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,906
- I gotta go.
- I'm not done.
96
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,508
No. You don't understand.
97
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,845
- I gotta go.
- Flush me first!
98
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,414
( whistling )
99
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,583
Hey, Mr. Candle.
100
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,952
Oh, hello, Marco.
101
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,887
I appreciate
all your guidance
102
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,556
with Garbage Island
and all,
103
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,625
but I'm gonna pass.
104
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,730
Actually, I was just thinking
I might be...
105
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,431
king of Mewni.
106
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,966
( sputtering )
What?!
107
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,635
The thing is,
Star and I
108
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,937
have recently become
smooch buddies.
109
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,539
On the lips.
110
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,875
Even if that's true, kid,
you shouldn't say that out loud.
111
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,777
Yeah, we've been trying
all styles.
112
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,413
German, Italian...
113
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,048
Polynesian.
114
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,884
My tonsils are so tired,
I can't feel my teeth.
115
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,955
( ferocious growl )
116
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:53,892
Busted. I knew you weren't
a guidance counselor.
117
00:04:57,096 --> 00:05:00,999
Oh. These women
look so miserable.
118
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:04,102
( sighs heavily )
119
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:07,472
MIRROR: Calling Mom.
120
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,007
What did you do?
121
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,976
What... nothing!
122
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,811
Yet.
123
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,813
I'd like to
ask you something.
124
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,948
Are you happy?
125
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:20,118
Happy? What difference
does that make?
126
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,688
I mean, I don't know.
127
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,690
Do you have
any warnicorns?
128
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,794
Goffrey, do I have
any warnicorns?
129
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:31,430
You have 19,
Your Majesty.
130
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,632
- Oh. Apparently,
I have 19.
- Oh, sweet.
131
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,301
But when you are queen, you
don't have time for warnicorns.
132
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,004
Everything I'm saying
is in your guide book.
133
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,006
Incidentally, you may want
to review the chapter
134
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,974
on hair care.
135
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:46,011
If you're going to be queen,
you have to look the part.
136
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,013
Don't worry so much
about happiness.
137
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,016
It makes you look pale.
Love you. Bye.
138
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:08,033
( buzzing )
139
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,002
Stop! I knew
you were listening.
140
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,571
I never made out with Star.
141
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,974
I just said that
to get your goat.
142
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,576
What?
143
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,144
You lied to me.
144
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,546
Well, you lied to Star.
145
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,883
You made her think
all she's good for
is being queen.
146
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,222
Dude, just take me home.
147
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,892
I can't do that.
148
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,761
You know too much.
149
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,729
Now I gotta destroy you.
150
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,898
What?!
That's not fair.
151
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,333
All right, fine.
152
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,235
Battle to the death.
I win, you die.
153
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,103
What do I get
if I win?
154
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,572
It's not gonna happen.
155
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,075
So, yeah, ask for
whatever you want.
156
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,911
If I win, you gotta
take me home.
157
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,347
And you gotta tell Star
the truth.
158
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:58,283
Fine.
Pick your weapon.
159
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,685
Dueling battle axes?
160
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,454
Rhino fiend joust?
161
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,890
Pear grenades
of anguish?
162
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:05,924
( shrieking )
163
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,595
What about ping-pong?
164
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,030
That's cool.
165
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,933
Your weapon of choice,
my liege.
166
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,768
I oughta warn you,
167
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,303
I'm not only a karate master.
168
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,872
I'm also good at
ball sports.
169
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,543
Ow!
170
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:28,046
Point, Master Tom.
171
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,550
Okay, so I'm
a little rusty.
172
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,552
Wait till you...
hi-yah!
173
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:37,155
Owww!
174
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,042
Game point.
175
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,780
In your face!
176
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,915
Ow! Ugh!
177
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,917
Since when do ping-pong balls
hurt so much?
178
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,086
These balls are
guided by demons.
179
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,957
Okay. Let's play
for real this time.
180
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,325
Double or nothing.
181
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,694
Dude, you're
out of paddles.
182
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,362
Just give up.
183
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:20,499
No, it's fine.
Here, you can have mine.
184
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,767
I don't need it.
185
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:28,106
Hey! Isn't this
kind of cheating?
186
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,674
You think this
is cheating?
187
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,643
You should try playing
Star at ping-pong.
188
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,311
Well, Star doesn't
really cheat.
189
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,113
She just makes up
her own rules.
190
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,817
And then she changes the rules
again halfway through the game.
191
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,620
Oh, so that's why
I never win.
192
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,222
She just does
whatever she wants.
193
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,690
Yeah, that's Star.
194
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,159
Yeah.
195
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,195
She is kinda awesome.
196
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,630
You know you're
never gonna win, right?
197
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:55,200
I know, but
you're not either.
198
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,669
It doesn't matter if
you beat me at ping-pong
199
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,838
or pull out all my organs.
200
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,206
You can't make Star
be your girlfriend
201
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,375
unless she wants to.
202
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,618
Star, I have something
to tell...
203
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:16,388
Whoa.
204
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,056
Oh, hey, Marco.
205
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,091
Did you know that if you
cut off a mermaid's tail,
206
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,594
you can never be queen?
It's all in the guide book.
207
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:25,063
Star, you don't
have to do that.
208
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,698
Oh, thank goodness.
209
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,700
I'm so sorry, Tiffany.
210
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,268
I never wanted to hurt you.
211
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,504
Shameful.
212
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,506
Tom! What's going on?
213
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:36,508
I have something
I need to confess.
214
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:39,744
I used Mr. Candle
to try to get
back together with you.
215
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,681
It took me destroying
Marco 58 games to zero
216
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,883
to realize I was wrong.
217
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,352
Like, I slaughtered him.
218
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:50,188
I mean, beating him
was so easy.
219
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,357
Okay, she gets it.
220
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,926
All I wanted
was to get you back.
221
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,295
But I never stopped
to consider what you wanted.
222
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,297
I'm sorry.
223
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,102
Ow!
224
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,137
You tricked me.
225
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,105
But it doesn't even
make a difference.
226
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,941
I'm still gonna
be queen.
227
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,577
Yeah, but that doesn't
sound like a bad thing,
228
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,713
because you're gonna
run Mewni your way.
229
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,382
No matter how destructive.
230
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,218
That's true.
231
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,461
Point, Marco.
232
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,665
Well, I should go.
233
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,834
By the way,
I like your hair.
234
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:44,809
STAR: So you guys
were hangin' out?
235
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,746
Uh, yeah.
236
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:50,115
Is he still
dark and broody?
237
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,583
Oh, yeah.
238
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,818
But he's not so bad.
239
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,489
No, Brittany,
I don't believe
240
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,691
your life has peaked
at such a young age.
241
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,093
Dude, abort the mission.
242
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,328
I'm done.
243
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,330
( whistles )
244
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,844
( growling noises )
245
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:26,284
Star?
246
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,458
I don't know
my combination!
247
00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:47,572
( gasps )
I'm... I'm...
248
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:50,341
I'm wearing a suit!
249
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,411
What are your plans
for the future, Mr. Diaz?
250
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,512
Mr. Candle?
251
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,515
GIRL: We're moving on
with our lives.
252
00:11:57,517 --> 00:12:00,418
But I haven't made up
my balloon yet.
253
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,656
My red belt.
254
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:06,725
I've been looking
all over for you.
255
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,827
Wait!
256
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,261
Come back.
257
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,230
Marco. Marco, Marco!
258
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,399
- Marco, Marco, Marco.
- ( screaming )
259
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,700
- Star?
- You okay?
260
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,502
Sounded like you were having
261
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,204
one of those "stuck in life"
dreams again.
262
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:22,207
Yeah. Wait. What are
you doing in here?
263
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:25,243
I'm hanging my first
Love Sentence poster.
264
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,512
You can be
my prisoner of love,
265
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,848
Justin Towers.
266
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,250
Uh... that's not
what I meant.
267
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,852
I was sleeping.
268
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:37,522
Oh! Right.
You have a hammer?
269
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,924
I'm putting this bad boy up
Earth girl style.
270
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,227
No majack!
271
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,596
Yeah, all I'm saying is,
272
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,265
you could've tried
knocking on my door,
Earth girl style.
273
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,701
Why would I do that
when I have dimensional...
274
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,402
Oh!
275
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:55,406
How can I be so "duh"?
276
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,642
Nothing's easy on Earth!
( laughs )
277
00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:01,412
I'm gonna find a hammer
the hard way.
278
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,382
Scavenger hunt!
279
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,018
Do we even have a hammer?
280
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,725
Sensei, I need to
talk to you about
281
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:15,994
- graduating to a red--
- Silence!
282
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:18,630
I'm about to achieve
oneness with the universe.
283
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,935
( inhales loudly )
284
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:27,639
( unintelligible muttering
and grunting )
285
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,142
Now, bow to your sensei.
286
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,513
Master, I've been
a green belt for five years.
287
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,182
It's time for me
to level up.
288
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,484
( laughter )
289
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,952
Five years, and you
think you're ready?
290
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,520
Go get an ice cream cone
or something,
291
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,289
and quit wasting
my Saturday.
292
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,523
Sensei, I'm serious.
293
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,325
Are you sure?
294
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,527
The training you desire
has broken many a student.
295
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,463
I'm ready to do
whatever it takes.
296
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,465
Fine.
297
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,101
We start... now!
298
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,404
- Clip the toenail.
- Seriously?
- Clip the toenail!!
299
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,008
- Plunge the toilet.
- Ugh.
300
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,410
Take the deduction.
301
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:11,549
Is your moment of failure
at hand, Mr. Diaz?
302
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,251
No, sensei.
303
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:19,357
Hey, guys!
304
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,492
Just ignore me.
305
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,028
Why exactly are we
ignoring you?
306
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,998
I'm scavenging the house
for a hammer.
307
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,334
Just pretend
I'm not here.
308
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,903
Okey-dokey.
309
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,205
- Do we even
have a hammer?
- No.
310
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,040
( groaning )
311
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,743
If I was a hammer...
312
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,579
- I'd be up there!
- ( dogs barking )
313
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,148
We have to do something.
314
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,817
That's right, Mr. Diaz.
315
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:48,353
Feel the squeegee
deep in your soul.
316
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,388
Preparation is key.
317
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,390
- You never know when
trouble will arrive.
- ( horn honks )
318
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,559
- Hello, dear.
- Mom!
319
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,829
How nice to have you...
visit me at my own house.
320
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,531
It's nice to see you finally
getting to those windows.
321
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,500
And you have
a little friend helping you.
322
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,702
Maybe I'll fix you
a big helper's snack.
323
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,271
Your mom seems nice.
324
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,072
Oh, yes, she often
comes to see me.
325
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,440
But not too often,
326
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,609
on account of her
having her own home.
327
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,578
I'm glad you made
that distinction,
328
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,513
because it almost seemed
like this was her house.
329
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,448
Here you go, boys.
330
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,584
If you need me,
I'll be taking a nap
in my room.
331
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,885
Okay?
332
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,787
Okay.
333
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,622
It's clear that
you live at home,
334
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:28,526
in a room that is
unsettlingly similar to mine.
335
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:29,894
Uh... great.
336
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,896
Then you'll have
no problem cleaning it.
337
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,631
Wait a minute.
338
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,600
Are you training me
for a red belt,
339
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,201
or are you making me do
all your chores?
340
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:38,903
No, no, we're training.
341
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,772
Ha! Cut the toenail.
342
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,875
Ugh! I think I've
more than earned my red belt.
343
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,611
Uh, you can't because...
344
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,880
I, uh...
345
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,482
( sobbing )
346
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,118
- Because I'm also
only a green belt.
- What?!
347
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,421
I didn't know what
I wanted to do with my life
348
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,923
so I rented a dojo
and ordered these
instructional videotapes.
349
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,726
Each tape told me what to learn
to get each color belt.
350
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,429
It was going
pretty well at first,
351
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,497
- but I only watched as far
as the green belt tape.
- Why'd you stop there?
352
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:09,634
Because the red belt tape
got stuck in the machine.
353
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,570
Now it just holds up
the short leg on
my computer table.
354
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,673
Couldn't you just try
to get the tape out
and untangle it?
355
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:19,510
I did, but that tape
got stuck in another machine!
356
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,347
What kind of sensei
can't even work a VCR?
357
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,751
( breathes deeply )
358
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:30,188
Well, we can totally
find it online.
359
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,624
Except we can't.
360
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:37,428
It seems like this is
one of the rarest sets of
videotapes in existence.
361
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,697
I guess we'll just
have to find it IRL.
362
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,299
No way.
363
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,701
I owe those guys
too much in back taxes.
364
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,670
IRL means
in real life.
365
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,172
We just have to find
a copy somewhere out there.
366
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,341
I see. In that case,
367
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,909
we'll need wheels.
368
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,779
( Marco laughing )
369
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,281
- To adventure!
- Feel the wind
in my tassels!
370
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,649
( dog barking )
371
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,619
Mom, call Rocket.
He's being weird.
372
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,122
( loud clattering noises )
373
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,860
( groaning )
374
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:13,731
Find... hammer.
375
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,003
What is this place?
376
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,538
It's cool.
You'll love it.
377
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:24,242
Yuck. Come on.
It's like a yard sale,
but inside.
378
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,977
These are the only
kind of places
379
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:27,745
you can find
old videotapes anymore.
380
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,480
- Is that it?
- No.
381
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,215
- Is that it?
- No.
382
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,051
- Is that it?
- Nope.
383
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,986
- Is that?
- Nope.
384
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,487
Got it. Never mind.
385
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,389
This is how to karaoke.
386
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,991
This is impossible!
387
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:41,592
We're never
gonna find it.
388
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,594
Come on,
we just got here.
389
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,997
Why don't you go check
one of those other bookcases?
390
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,899
Sensei?
391
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:52,370
How about grape and cherry?
Ooh, you know what?
392
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,573
Just squirt every flavor
you got on it zombie style.
393
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,176
- Ooh, yeah.
- Why'd you leave?
394
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,745
Got some cash? I don't
get my allowance till Friday.
395
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,780
Oh, uh... here.
396
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,118
Fifty-one, 52, 53...
397
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,920
Sensei?
What are you doing?
398
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,255
Dude, these chicks
totally dig my bike.
399
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,257
- Are you for real?
- What?
400
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,560
You don't really wanna
earn your red belt, do you?
401
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,728
Look, we tried
and we failed.
402
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,564
And that's okay.
403
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,099
It's not okay.
404
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,234
I actually wanted
to be like you,
405
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,969
but you're just like me,
406
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,804
except I'm not gonna end up
38 years old
407
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,639
and still living
with my parents.
408
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,976
- I'll see ya later.
- Where you going?
409
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,979
I'm going to find that tape
and get my red belt.
410
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,215
Uh, bow to
your sensei.
411
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,817
I don't have
a sensei anymore.
412
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,487
So where am I gonna
look next?
413
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,988
I could check
more thrift stores,
414
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,223
but what are the odds I'll...
oh!
415
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,725
Bump into it?
416
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:52,096
You are no cinephile.
417
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,798
Next.
418
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,168
I'm looking for a rare set of
karate instructional tapes.
419
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,837
Finally. A customer who
knows what he's talking about.
420
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,006
It's the How To Karate series.
421
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,741
The red belt tape.
422
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,678
Behold, the coveted
volume 8 red belt cassette.
423
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,280
Viewed only once.
424
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:12,817
I've been looking
all over for you.
425
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,185
Not without
gloves, please.
426
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,953
Okay. How much is it?
427
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,956
I will give you
the aficionado price. 2,400.
428
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,491
Dollars?!
429
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,293
I can't afford that.
430
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,163
Well, there is another way.
Fight me for it.
431
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,032
Really? Yeah, okay.
432
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,908
I'm not leaving
without that tape.
433
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:12,944
Hey, Marco.
I'm still your sensei, right?
434
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,751
Sensei, he has the tape.
435
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:32,763
Mr. Diaz,
clip the toenail!
436
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,172
You... defeated me.
437
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:44,141
The tape is yours.
438
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:48,913
Can you ask him if he has
the How To Untangle
439
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,349
Multiple VHS Tapes
VHS tape.
440
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,050
No. Do you have
a pair of scissors?
441
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,952
Actually, we--
442
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,520
Not the critically
acclaimed
443
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:57,888
award-winning
romantic comedy
444
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,523
A Pair of Scissors.
445
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,926
An actual
pair of scissors.
446
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,461
No.
447
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,929
It's okay, guys.
448
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,964
I'm done.
449
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,432
Go on without me.
450
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,035
- ( clattering )
- A hammer!
451
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,803
( both sighing )
452
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,573
Now I just need
to find some nails.
453
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,775
Back to the store.
454
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:22,980
You know, red is
really your color.
455
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,783
It's yours too, sensei.
456
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,820
I'd say this Earth girl
did a job well done.
457
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:34,025
Now, let's clean this house
the easy way.
458
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,931
♪ I think Earth
is a pretty great place ♪
459
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,900
♪ That's saying something ♪
460
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,169
♪ 'Cause I've been
through outer space ♪
461
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:48,806
♪ I think it suits me,
it's just my style ♪
462
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,510
♪ I think I'm gonna stay
a little while ♪
463
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:55,179
♪ I think that strangers
are just friends ♪
464
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:57,181
♪ You haven't met ♪
465
00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:00,951
♪ I'm blasting monsters
and I never break a sweat ♪
466
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:05,723
♪ I'm really thinking I could
call this place home ♪