﻿1
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                      ♪♪        

2
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               ♪♪               

3
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        <i> ♪ It's gonna get</i>       
        <i> a little weird ♪</i>       

4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,644
  <i> ♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪</i>  

5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,346
  <i> ♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪</i> 

6
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,148
 <i> ♪ I'm from another dimension ♪</i>

7
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,649
  <i> ♪ Gonna get a little weird ♪</i> 

8
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,718
   <i> ♪ Gonna have a good time ♪</i>  

9
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,019
           <i> ♪ I ain't</i>           
       <i> from 'round here ♪</i>      

10
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    <i> ♪ I'm from another,</i>        
         <i> whoo-hoo ♪</i>            

11
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          <i> ♪ Yeh-heah ♪</i>         

12
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    <i> ♪ I'm talking puppies ♪</i>    

13
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        <i> ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa,</i>      
         <i> pa, pa, pa, pa ♪</i>      

14
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,734
            <i> ♪ Ooh ♪</i>            

15
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        <i> ♪ It's gonna get</i>       
        <i> a little weird ♪</i>       

16
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,371
  <i> ♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪</i>  

17
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,772
  <i> ♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪</i> 

18
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 <i> ♪ I'm from another dimension ♪</i>

19
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       [Ponyhead] Okay, you need
       to hold still.           

20
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,682
       One more second.         
       It needs to be perfect.  

21
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,585
            Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm!     

22
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,755
         How do I look?         

23
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,557
                   Super pretty!

24
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,759
        [gasps] Oh, no.         

25
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,061
What's the matter?              
You don't like it?              

26
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:07,632
   No, I know I look amazing,   
          it's just...          

27
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,468
I can't go back                 
to St. Olga's like this!        

28
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,769
I gotta come clean!             

29
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,037
                [spits] Uh-uh!  

30
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,139
        If you tell those girls 
        that you have been lying

31
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        about being a princess, 
        they will destroy you.  

32
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,945
I still can't believe they want 
to give me an honorary degree.  

33
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,814
Ugh. I know I inspired          
a generation and all,           

34
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,583
but I can't keep lying!         

35
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            Whatever.           
            It's your funeral.  

36
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,819
        -[thuds]                
        -[groans]               

37
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,821
        Hey, goat, just because 
        you're invisible        

38
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,456
        doesn't mean            
        I can't hurt you!       

39
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:34,426
        Oh, we're here. Mm.     

40
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,161
                Come on, ladies.

41
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:40,832
    [grunting]                  

42
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:43,268
            You're having       
            a princess problem. 

43
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,238
[sighs] Yeah, I'm having        
a princess problem.             

44
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,673
        Okay, stand up straight.

45
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:50,475
                Arms forward!   

46
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:51,610
                    And exhale! 

47
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:52,844
Exhale!                         

48
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:58,350
Oh! Well, you've                
obviously done this before.     

49
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,785
     -[dance beat playing]      
          -[cheering]           

50
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:03,855
        Okay. I can't do this.  

51
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,491
    [fan] Princess Turdina,     
        where you going?        

52
00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,827
             -Ahh!              
        -Sign my poster!        

53
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,128
        -Sign my cat!           
        -[cat meows]            

54
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         Sign my face!          

55
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,432
         Okay, people,          
        don't crowd her!        

56
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,502
        Princess Turdina!       
        It is truly an honor.   

57
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,638
Oh, please,                     
you don't have to--             

58
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,874
        We can't wait           
        to show you what we've  
        done with this place.   

59
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:23,875
    Whoa!                       

60
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:27,512
        Welcome to Utopia!      

61
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         [all gasping]          

62
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:32,450
           [cheering]           

63
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            [gasps] Where am I? 

64
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        Oh, it's so beautiful!  

65
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:40,525
            Wow, this is, uh... 

66
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,394
            really something.   

67
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  Oh, we got rid of all those   
oppressive classes about manners

68
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  and "please" and "thank you"  
   and all that other trash.    

69
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        We have our own         
        curriculum now!         

70
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Brunch and... party.            

71
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,473
When do you sleep?              

72
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        Oh-ho-ho,               
        don't worry about it!   

73
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You know, sometimes structure   
isn't a bad thing!              

74
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,815
    -What?                      
    -I just think               
     that rules have a place... 

75
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,218
        Yeah, but you told us   
        to never conform!       

76
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,386
    If you weren't being honest 
    about who you are,          

77
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:11,256
        then this whole school  
        would be built on a lie!

78
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:16,061
Oh, what I meant to say         
was rules have a place...       

79
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in the garbage! Hah-hah!        

80
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            Oh, hah-hah!        
            Oh, oh, good one.   

81
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,736
            That was...         
            Oh, you had me.     

82
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,539
  Here's some princesses hard   
 at work on their brunch final. 

83
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We don't believe in grades,     
no, we don't, just pancakes.    

84
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,711
            [chewing noisily]   

85
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,512
            I love learning!    

86
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:38,083
    These are                   
    the whispering gardens,     
    our designated gossip area, 

87
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:41,753
because a princess's voice      
shall not be silenced!          

88
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:46,925
[gasps] Oh, my gosh,            
did you hear that Beatrice      
and Alfred broke up<i> again?</i>      

89
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,761
            Oh, no way!         

90
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,563
And this is where               
we have our party class         

91
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,132
to celebrate our freedom        
from the reign of Miss Heinous! 

92
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,369
I see what you're seeing.       
It's cooler at night.           

93
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:01,973
This is the hallway             
of Turdina!                     

94
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,408
                    Whoa.       

95
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,646
This is the very first          
Turdina poster we hung up.      

96
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,981
        All of your T-shirts    
        and all of your dolls   

97
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,984
and a lock of your hair         
and a poster of your movie!     

98
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,153
            Oh, I gotta get     
            a DVD of that!      

99
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,821
        This is too much!       

100
00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:20,125
Are you kidding?                
We owe this whole school to you.

101
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,594
You showed us                   
that all princesses             

102
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don't have to fit               
into the same mold.             

103
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                    [squawks]   

104
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      Pfft. No, I didn't.       

105
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    And we're gonna show you    
        our appreciation        

106
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:34,339
    by throwing you             
    the biggest party           
    this school's ever seen!    

107
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               A party?! For me?

108
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,977
Uh, Marco, isn't there something
you wanted to tell these girls? 

109
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,346
            Oh! Yeah, um...     
            [clearing throat]   

110
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,649
            It's not criminal   
            to be an individual!

111
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,951
   -She said our catchphrase!   
             -Yay!              

112
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:49,621
       Aw, you are way          
       much more fun as Turdina!

113
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,922
                Oh, my gosh!    
                Oh, my gosh!    

114
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,991
                It's here!      
                It's here!      

115
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:53,958
    What's here?                

116
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,827
            Check it out!       
            Isn't it amazing?   

117
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,429
                Whoa.           

118
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,965
In honor of the one princess    
who changed our lives,          

119
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,702
we dedicate this to you!        

120
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,704
    I'm so beautiful.           

121
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,706
        I hope you do like it,  
        Princess Turdina!       

122
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,942
    It took all year to save up 
    enough to get it made!      

123
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:14,212
     We cleaned toilets         
     on weekends for extra cash.

124
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,281
      But it was worth it       
     because you showed us      

125
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,882
    that there's another way    
            to live.            

126
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,651
           [cheering]           

127
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,052
        Hey, hey, it's time     

128
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,288
        for a group selfie      
        in front of the statue. 

129
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,823
        Oh, okay, sure.         

130
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,692
               Camera phone! Mm!

131
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,828
Are you...                      
enjoying this?                  

132
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,464
    Hey, this is the first time 
    he's ever been popular!     

133
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,065
        Don't ruin it for him.  

134
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,835
Well, he should tell the truth  
like a decent human being.      

135
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,070
Hey, Turdina, can I talk        
to you for a sec?               

136
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,905
    Sure. Uh, bye, ladies!      

137
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,908
Marco, I think you're running   
out of time to tell the truth.  

138
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,077
            Don't even listen   
            to her, Turdina!    

139
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,879
            These princesses    
            worship you!        

140
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:51,049
Yeah, but they worship          
someone who doesn't exist.      

141
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,219
Marco is the most organized,    
rule-abiding person I know.     

142
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,254
            Think of the party! 

143
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,390
Yeah, they spent all that money 
        for the statue.         

144
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,058
            I can't crush       
            their spirits!      

145
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,694
I'm just worried                
you might be letting            

146
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,063
this attention                  
get to your head!               

147
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,998
        What? That's not it!    

148
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,900
        This is for them,       
        not for me!             

149
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,935
            Princess Turdina,   
            come on!            

150
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,904
            It's time           
            for your ceremony!  

151
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,272
        I can't believe         
        I'm saying this,        

152
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,341
        but I'm going           
     with Pony's advice.        

153
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,510
            Whoo! Good choice.  

154
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,978
            [claps]             

155
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,848
          Oppression!           

156
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,418
       Eternal darkness!        

157
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:27,952
        Suddenly light!         

158
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,187
            Freedom!            

159
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,288
            Turdina!            

160
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,057
          [doves coo]           

161
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,793
            Thank you,          
            Princess Gwendolyn, 

162
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,961
            for that beautiful  
            interpretive dance. 

163
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,964
      And now, the moment       
  you've all been waiting for,  

164
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:45,270
       the woman herself,       
    Princess Marco Turdina!     

165
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,005
           [cheering]           

166
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:54,045
     I present you this honorary
     St. Olga's degree.         

167
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,146
        Wow!                    

168
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:58,150
       [chanting] Turdina!      

169
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,953
      Dearest princesses,       

170
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:05,256
        congratulations         
   on this wonderful school.    

171
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,158
       I know you see me        
          as an idol,           

172
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:10,762
           but today            
        you're my idols!        

173
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,565
     You embody everything      
    that Princess Turdina...    

174
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,634
   uh, um, that I stand for--   

175
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:19,237
   not letting anyone force you 
   to be something you're not,  

176
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,606
  living by your true colors,   

177
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:24,442
      loving who you are!       

178
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,111
   I'm proud to have inspired   
        you to be brave,        

179
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:28,780
     even when it's scary.      

180
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,448
      And when being true       
          to yourself           

181
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,985
    might mean disappointing    
      thousands of people.      

182
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,120
             Um...              

183
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,357
        [sighs] That's--        

184
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,192
       that's why I have        
     to tell you the truth.     

185
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:44,028
   I, Princess Marco Turdina,   

186
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:46,698
           -am a boy!           
  -[words drowned out by saw]   

187
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,002
                    Oh, no.     

188
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,905
    [humming]                   

189
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,009
         [all gasping,          
           screaming]           

190
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,143
                    Ooh!        

191
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,012
              It's Miss Heinous!

192
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,014
        Princess Turdina        
          is a fraud,           

193
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,450
           and I have           
   the evidence to prove it.    

194
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,785
        -It's a tape...         
     -It's a tape of what?      

195
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:11,656
    That's right,               
    I watched your video        
    and saw your dark secret!   

196
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,825
Oh, that phony confession I did?

197
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,860
Go ahead, show 'em!             
It's not real.                  

198
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:18,062
            Oh, no, it's not... 

199
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:22,967
            but this is. Uh!    

200
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:27,505
   -[gasps and exclamations]    
     -Wait! Is that a hair?     

201
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,542
       Turdina isn't a princess!
       She's a boy!             

202
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:31,676
        [girls gasping]         

203
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,144
How'd you know                  
about Rodrigo?                  

204
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,146
    Whatever! That doesn't      
    prove anything!             

205
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,081
    Princesses                  
    can be hairy!               

206
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:39,417
                Yeah! We believe
                in you, Turdina!

207
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,919
            No.                 

208
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,253
       [girls whispering]       

209
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:44,055
         I lied to you.         

210
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,591
          I am a boy.           

211
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,226
           [gasping]            

212
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,394
                Ooh!            

213
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,063
            Oop! I mean, ugh!   

214
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,532
This, princesses,               
is why you need me              

215
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,100
running St. Olga's.             

216
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,403
Look where all                  
this freedom got you--          

217
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,238
living in filth                 

218
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,273
and championing a "hero"        

219
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,275
who's been lying                
to you all along!               

220
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:08,513
Henceforth, you must reinstate  
me as your schoolmaster!        

221
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,281
You need me...                  

222
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:13,284
and I need you.                 

223
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,852
    Wait, what did she just say?

224
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,522
 Wait, no, why does it matter   
        if he's a boy?          

225
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,390
        Nothing he said         
           was wrong!           

226
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:22,927
Yeah! He can think              
for himself and so can we!      

227
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,263
            He can be a princess
            if he wants to!     

228
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,265
    Turdina's a state of mind!  

229
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,266
           [cheering]           

230
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,268
       Silence! Silence!        

231
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,703
            [gasps]             

232
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,139
        Oh, I just got her      
        right in the face!      

233
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:38,142
                [neighs]        
                Come on, girls! 

234
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:41,379
            -Yeah!              
         -Free will!            

235
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,114
    No! No!                     

236
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,315
          [saw buzzes]          

237
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:45,483
           Spare me.            

238
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,419
            Get in the car!     

239
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:51,423
Turdina lives!                  

240
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:56,894
           [cheering]           

241
00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:00,298
       [dance beat plays]       

242
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,333
      Well, looks like Turdina's
      gone for good.            

243
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:06,304
Yeah, because you               
took her away from us,          
you selfish monster!            

244
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,173
 You look like you can breathe  
       a lot easier now.        

245
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,109
            Mostly 'cause I'm   
            out of that dress!  

246
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,177
            That corset         
            was killin' me!     

247
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:16,681
        Could we get a selfie   
        with Marco Turdina,     
        Boy Princess?           

248
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:17,749
                Sure.           

249
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,984
      [all] Camera phone!       

250
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:23,655
    Oh, Smoochie's gonna be     
    so jealous of this one!     

251
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,090
              Where is Smoochie,
              anyways?          

252
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,827
               ♪♪               

253
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:41,172
        Ah! Oh, yeah,           
        that's good!            

254
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,808
        Gemini, we gotta get    
        more of this stuff.     

255
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:48,546
Oh, yes, but I'm afraid this one
is out of juice, milady.        

256
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,314
            Camera phone...     

257
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,017
     [Heinous] I know that,     
           you fool!            

258
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,819
    I'm not talking about her!  

259
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:58,556
Well, I'm happy to share        
some of mine with you.          

260
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,292
                No! I want      
                the good stuff. 

261
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:05,296
        I'm coming for you,     
        Princess Marco Turdina! 

262
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,366
I don't mean                    
to interrupt, milady,           

263
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,069
but we say this                 
all the time.                   

264
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,237
"I'm coming for you..."         

265
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:16,808
Maybe we should                 
just stay in tonight            

266
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:20,978
and you can have                
a little Gemini fuel.           

267
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,747
        No. Nobody asked you.   

268
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,182
            Go get the car!     

269
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:27,018
Uh, of course, milady.          

270
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,822
        Whoa!                   

271
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,223
       Yeah, that princess merch

272
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,391
            is, like, so cute,  

273
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,859
            but for that price, 
            I'm, like,          

274
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,360
        it better do real magic.

275
00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:39,931
[laughs] That is funny          
and a good point.               

276
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,399
        Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!       

277
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,167
        This one's spicy!       

278
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,937
        Oh, my gosh, that is    
        the cutest price tag!   

279
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,339
Hey, monster!                   
You know the rules.             

280
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,876
Monsters ain't welcome,         
so put the merch back           
and get out!                    

281
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,011
             -Whoa.             
       -Shoo, shoo, shoo!       

282
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,413
                       [sobbing]

283
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,382
      Do you think I'd look cute
      in this shirt?            

284
00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,017
            -What?              
            -Or...              

285
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,286
    Hey, over there!            
 That goes for you, too!        

286
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,856
           -Monster!            
             -Hmph!             

287
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,525
    Oh! Prince Lucitor.         
    Sorry. Sorry, sir.          

288
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,727
    Please don't incinerate     
            my shop.            

289
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,729
           -[kisses]            
             -Hmm.              

290
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:17,602
   Circumstantial evidence...   
        Hmm, okay. Hmm.         

291
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,270
       [footsteps patter]       

292
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,405
              -No.              
           -Hey, Mom!           

293
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,909
You know how Mewmans            
kind of keep monsters separated 

294
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,110
from the rest                   
of the kingdom?                 

295
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,278
                    Yes?        

296
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,248
Well, I was                     
just wondering why!             

297
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,617
      We keep monsters out      
because monsters are dangerous. 

298
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:33,818
                You know that.  

299
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:36,254
Well, yeah!                     
But no! No, no, no, no!         

300
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,789
Not all of them,                

301
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,624
and what about people           
who aren't Mewmans,             

302
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,992
but also aren't monsters?       

303
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,293
Like Romulus!                   

304
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,661
He has snakes for hands!        

305
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,096
Are his hands monsters?         

306
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,430
            Heavens, no!        

307
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,332
            He's on the Magical 
            High Commission!    

308
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:49,634
And what about                  
the Ponyheads?                  

309
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,904
They're a bunch                 
of floating horse heads!        

310
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:56,808
        No, dear, we've had ties
        with the Ponyheads      
        for generations.        

311
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,277
And Rich Pigeon?                
His kingdom is brand new!       

312
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,679
            And he's a pigeon   
            with legs, Mother!  

313
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,314
            How is he           
            not a monster?      

314
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,416
        Well, dear, he's rich.  

315
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,519
I don't really see what that    
has to do with anything.        

316
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,087
        And what about          
        the Lucitors?           

317
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,490
        I've seen Tom do        
    some pretty scary stuff.    

318
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,592
    Somehow he's not a monster? 

319
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,861
    Okay, and it makes          
    absolutely no sense         

320
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,763
     that lizard people         
        are monsters            

321
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,433
     but Lekmet, the giant      
   magical goat-man was not?    

322
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,701
            Too soon, Star!     

323
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,369
But what's the difference?      

324
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,438
What the heck                   
is the difference?              

325
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,974
        Enough! Look,           
        I don't make the rules. 

326
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,443
        The Royal Monster       
        Expert does!            

327
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,379
I'm sorry, what?                
We have a monster on staff?     

328
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:38,449
            Not a monster,      
            a monster expert.   

329
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,951
            Dr. Jelly Goodwell. 

330
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,686
Okay, then I'm gonna            
go have a little chat           

331
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,387
with this "Jelly Goodwell,"     

332
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,790
if that even is                 
her real name!                  

333
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,392
             -Fine!             
          -Fine! Bye.           

334
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,396
      [sighs] What am I supposed
      to do with this cart?     

335
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,332
                Jelly Goodwell! 

336
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,333
        [screams]               

337
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,801
            We need to talk now!

338
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,703
Oh, you must be here            
for the cheese!                 

339
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:01,806
        What? No!               
        Don't play dumb with me,
        Royal Monster Expert!   

340
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,710
Oh! No,                         
I'm the Royal Muenster Expert.  

341
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,082
The Royal Monster Expert        
is down the hall to the right.  

342
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:14,385
                Okay! Thank you!

343
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,153
        Jelly Goodwell!         

344
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,388
                Hmm?            

345
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:20,358
        Wrong office. Sorry.    

346
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,926
            Jelly Goodwell!     

347
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:25,563
      And step... step...       
           [snuffles]           

348
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,164
               Excuse me.       

349
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,934
       Pardon me, is this       
    Dr. Goodwell's office?      

350
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,271
        Yes, I'm Dr. Goodwell.  

351
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,173
Ah, thank goodness!             
Now, you listen up, Goodwell!   

352
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:39,410
The way we treat monsters       
around here is outrageous!      

353
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,512
We have got                     
all these dumb rules            

354
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,414
saying monsters                 
can't mingle with humans,       

355
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:44,582
and monsters                    
can't go here,                  

356
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,183
and monsters                    
can't go there!                 

357
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,219
Oof! It's gotten to the point   
where a monster                 

358
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,621
can't even go shopping          
for a pre-ripped T-shirt!       

359
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:53,190
Well, sister,                   
I am not leaving here           

360
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,726
until you agree                 
to make some changes.           

361
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:59,463
    I've spent my entire life   
    studying monsters.          

362
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:02,566
Nobody knows more               
about them than I do.           

363
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:04,602
I've even lived among them      

364
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,071
and observed                    
their behavior first-hand,      

365
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:12,543
and you are exactly the princess
I've been waiting for!          

366
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,479
    -Wait, what?                
    -For years I've hoped       
     to find a royal            

367
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,082
who actually gets it.           
The way we treat monsters       

368
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,818
in Mewni is,                    
well, monstrous!                

369
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:24,322
           -Exactly!            
-Monsters need to be respected. 

370
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,057
             -Yes!              
          -And loved!           

371
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,226
             -Yes!              
 -And their habitat preserved!  

372
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,829
            Oh, yes! Yes! Yes!  

373
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,899
Excellent. Let me take you      
out into the field              

374
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,834
and show you                    
what I've been working on.      

375
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:37,935
                    Let's go!   

376
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:40,271
Being a researcher              
is awesome!                     

377
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,673
These monster costumes          
are great!                      

378
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,443
            Oh! They're         
            monster camouflage. 

379
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:50,481
    Speaking of which,          
    we should probably go ahead 
    and apply our monster musk. 

380
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,083
Monster musk?                   
What's that?                    

381
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,952
          -[spritzes]           
      -Oh, that is nasty!       

382
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,687
What's in there?                

383
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:59,490
  My own special blend          
  of various monster secretions.

384
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,325
                [gargles]       

385
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,460
                Bleh, ugh!      

386
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,161
            Let's get going!    

387
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:07,698
            First we need to go 
            through the Forest  
            of Certain Death,   

388
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,534
then across the Lake            
of Endless Suffering,           

389
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:13,504
          over the Dam          
      of Constant Sorrow,       

390
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:17,108
       across the Bridge        
  of the Inevitable Hereafter,  

391
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,511
                and here we are!

392
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,613
Wow, sick treehouse, doc!       

393
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,981
                Oh, no...       
                [laughs]        

394
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,017
        It's not a treehouse.   

395
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,519
        It is                   
        my field research lab.  

396
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,187
It looks like                   
a treehouse to me.              

397
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:31,288
                It's not!       

398
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,723
Whatever you say, doc.          

399
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:36,327
        [grunting]              

400
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:37,661
              Oh!               

401
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,631
[grunts] Dr. Goodwill?          
Whatcha doing?                  

402
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,200
                Shh! There's    
                a herd nearby!  

403
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:44,702
A herd?                         
A herd of what?                 

404
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,105
                Monsters!       

405
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,208
    Whoa.                       

406
00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,578
        This hill features      
        naturally occurring     
        geographic formations   

407
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,882
        that almost             
        look like buildings.    

408
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:02,486
        The monsters            
        were clever enough      
        to use them for shelter.

409
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,255
                Amazing!        

410
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,190
Wait, what?                     

411
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:09,693
        Ooh! Ooh! You've got    
        to get a look at this!  

412
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,562
            There's 011358,     

413
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,731
        and he has              
        his offspring with him! 

414
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,067
Oh, hey, Buffrog!               
You know him, too?              

415
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:20,771
    I have been watching 011358 
    since he was a tadpole.     

416
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:22,940
        I implanted a tracker   
        on his ear              

417
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,677
   and have been keeping        
   close tabs on him ever since.

418
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,713
          [whistling]           

419
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:33,517
          [scratching]          

420
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,219
Okay, I don't know              
about this, Goodwell--          

421
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:39,056
the spying, the costumes,       
the monster musk?               

422
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,724
Monsters are just like us.      

423
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:43,060
You don't need                  
all this equipment              
to get to know them.            

424
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:47,631
      Get to know them?         
      Oh, ho, sweet, naive Star!

425
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,567
             It's not so simple.

426
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,736
  When monsters and Mewmans mix,
  bad things happen,            

427
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,472
        usually to the monsters!

428
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,773
Yeah, but that--                

429
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,075
                I've devised    
                a plan!         

430
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:02,013
        Let me show... you...   

431
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,148
                    Tah-dah!    

432
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:05,282
    Ooh!                        

433
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,750
Nice cartsmanship.              

434
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,152
                Thank you!      

435
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,087
Aw, look at little tiny us      
in the treehouse!               

436
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,256
So cute!                        
And the monster village!        

437
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,457
What are you planning?          

438
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:14,825
        You see that wondrously 

439
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,261
        mysterious structure    
        the monsters built?     

440
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,762
Uh, you mean "dam"?             

441
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,631
        I believe it's some kind

442
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,133
        of primitive monument   

443
00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:24,268
        that they built         
        out of instinct,        

444
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:27,738
       but no matter-- we simply
       remove a small piece     
       of their structure       

445
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,241
        to release              
        a gentle flow of water, 

446
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,309
            which travels       
            down the chasm,     

447
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:35,346
            covers the lowlands 
            around the monster  
            nesting grounds,    

448
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,015
            and creates         
            a natural island!   

449
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,151
                    Voilà!      

450
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,819
More like a prison.             

451
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,787
I mean, how are they            
supposed to get in and out?     

452
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,523
            Well, they don't!   

453
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:50,861
    It's guaranteed total       
    isolation from Mewmans!     

454
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,030
                Shall I detonate
                the dam?        

455
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:56,033
Listen, we can't just           
go around blowing up dams       

456
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,434
and imprisoning monsters!       

457
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,502
That's crazy!                   

458
00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,803
Mewmans have been deciding      

459
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,805
what's best for monsters        
for way too long!               

460
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,175
        But I already did it!   

461
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,977
            [explosive noise]   

462
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,613
Ugh. Unbelievable.              

463
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,716
You know what, Jelly?           
You doomed these monsters!      

464
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,553
            You don't like      
            my explosion?       

465
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,888
It's not about that.            
I thought you were different.   

466
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,224
But you're just like            
everybody else here.            

467
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:23,861
No, no, no, no, no.             
Stop complaining.               

468
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,897
Look, of course there is        
bigger, better stroller.        

469
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:31,168
But you should appreciate       
the one we have.                

470
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,071
[panting] Hey, Buffrog!         

471
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,840
Look, look, look!               
Jelly Goodwell blew the dam,    

472
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,709
and now the water's             
gonna come down                 

473
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,711
and turn this whole place       
into an island!                 

474
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,746
        What?                   

475
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,650
           Hey, Star,           
      it's not a problem.       

476
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,719
          That's just           
   a little trickle of water,   

477
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,921
            nothing we haven't  
            seen before.        

478
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:54,892
Oh, you must be crazy dirty lady
that watches us through trees.  

479
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,061
            Hello. I am         
            Yvgeny Bulgolubuff. 

480
00:19:57,096 --> 00:20:00,497
Well, I'm Jelly Goodwell!       
Oh-ho-ho!                       

481
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,201
            -[beep]             
          -[explosion]          

482
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,706
Oh, I'm such                    
a turd-brain!                   

483
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:12,876
I shook your hand               
with the blower-upper thing!    

484
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:14,912
        No! It's too much water!

485
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,947
    It won't create an island.  

486
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,016
        This will destroy       
        entire village!         

487
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,117
                        Come on.

488
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:26,690
    Incoming!                   

489
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:27,758
                Oh, my goodness!

490
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,959
Come on, move it!               

491
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,194
This is not drill.              

492
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,929
        Hey, hey!               

493
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:32,963
    Hah!                        

494
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,733
       [video game tones]       

495
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,605
                    Hey, Star!  

496
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,940
            Incredible!         

497
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:46,777
        Mewmans and monsters    
        working together!       

498
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:49,980
        -Here it comes!         
            -Oh, no!            

499
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:51,548
             -Hey!              
             -Huh?              

500
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,717
         -Grab a rock!          
              -Oh!              

501
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:54,818
Great, let's go!                

502
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:56,320
            Oh! Okay!           

503
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:06,263
           [all] Yay!           

504
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:10,267
     How could I have been      
       such a dumb-dumb?        

505
00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:13,837
Here I thought                  
we should live separately!      

506
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:18,409
But really Mewmans              
should live like monsters!      

507
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,977
Hah-hah!                        

508
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:24,415
Play in the mud!                
Act like idiots! Oh!            

509
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,450
I'm a monster, ho-whah!         

510
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:29,820
         I'm a monster!         
          [laughing]            

511
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,993
    [grunts]                    

512
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,661
                    There!      

513
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:40,831
        Now Mewni has           
        a real monster expert.  

514
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,266
Thank you.                      

515
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,635
            Aw, you're crying.  

516
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,603
Oh, the badge.                  

517
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,840
I think you broke               
the skin a little.              

518
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,842
            Oh, gosh!           
            Sorry, sorry, sorry.

519
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,878
Yeah, yes.                      

520
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:55,979
    <i> ♪ She's a princess ♪</i>       

521
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:57,348
      <i> ♪ Winning battles ♪</i>      

522
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,651
 <i> ♪ Through the break of dawn ♪</i> 

523
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,453
         <i> ♪ Don't worry</i>         
       <i> when it's night ♪</i>       

524
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:05,689
    <i> ♪ 'Cause she would keep</i>    
        <i> the lights on ♪</i>        

525
00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:11,829
        <i> ♪ Oh, there goes</i>       
        <i> a shining star ♪</i>       

526
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,064
    <i> ♪ Evil won't deter her ♪</i>   

527
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:17,868
         <i> ♪ 'Cause magic</i>        
      <i> flows through her ♪</i>      

528
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:22,940
   <i> ♪ She is a shining star ♪</i>   

