♪♪
♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪
♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪
♪ I ain't from round here ♪
♪ I'm from another dimension ♪
♪ Gonna get a little weird ♪
♪ Gonna have a good time ♪
♪ I ain't from round here ♪
♪ I'm from another woo-hoo! ♪
♪ Yea-ah ♪
♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪
♪ I'm talking puppies ♪
♪ Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-puuuhh ♪
♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪
♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪
♪ I ain't from round here ♪
♪ I'm from another dimension ♪
Hello, Star Butterfly! I have a special delivery for--
Oh-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Rainbow Fist Punch!
[grunts]
Star, why did you just punch that lady?
Uh, that is the ransomgram lady.
She's here to ransom us.
No. I also deliver the mail. Sometimes.
This is just mail.
Oh. Sorry!
No, it's fine.
People, uh... People do that--
OK, thank you, bye.
-Oh, no! -What is it?
Quest Buy is closing!
They're having a Going Out of Business sale
right now!
Quest Buy is closing? [gasps] Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yeah! All right! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
All right! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. All right!
[screams enthusiastically] Yeah! Oh!
[stammering] What are you so happy about?
This is the Going Out of Business sale!
That means Quest Buy is closing down forever.
It's, like, the happiest day of my life. I hate Quest Buy.
Yeah, but what happens, say, if something happens to your wallet?
If there's no Quest Buy, you can't get another one!
Wait, you mean my dab coat, bad lab, bad to the bone,
tri-tone, triple-locking thumb print activated
-surity security wallet impression blue? -Oh, yeah, baby.
Which I purchased on a previous trip to Quest Buy?
-Uh, yeah, baby! -Based on the rate of decay,
if I'm gonna live to be 100, I'm gonna need...
[whispering] one, two, three, four, five, six...
sixteen of these things!
We gotta go to Quest Buy.
Classic Diaz, doin' the math.
What?! Janna?!
[gasps] Janna!
So, are we doin' this thing or what?
Wait! W-w-wait a second!
H-how did you get here?
[chuckles] Wouldn't you like to know?
Yeah, I would like to know.
That's why I asked the question.
No one cares, Marco! The important thing is
Janna's here! Let's go, guys!
Fine. But we're gonna come back to this.
Huh?
[straining]
It's-- it's like there's something--
Come on, Diaz! Suck in that gut!
[straining]
[all shouting indistinctly]
Oh, my gosh. What is going on? This is crazy!
[Sloth over P.A.] Attention, customers.
Don't miss our Going Out of Business sale.
Uh, this is way more people than I'm comfortable with!
Wait. Head count. Where's Janna?
Janna! Where are you?
I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, and, uh, don't wait up!
[screaming]
-That's my Man Mower! -[chirping]
Ya porpoise!
OK, Marco, let's just grab
your 16 wallets and get outta here.
OK, right there!
Wallets!
[sighs] Bye-bye.
Oh, look! More wallets right over there!
-[all gasp] -Wha--?
[silence]
[all shouting indistinctly]
[groans] We're never getting these wallets.
[Janna] Do you ladies need help with anything?
-Janna, who's Stu? -Who's Janna?
Uh... what do I do?
You're fired.
Ugh, I'm doing him a favor.
Come on, let's go!
Whoa.
[Janna] "Keep out."
Something tells me
they don't want us to go in there.
Oh, wait. What's this?
"Employees only." Nope, we're good!
Behold.
Stock room! Or whatever.
[Star] Huh.
Where's all the stock?
[Janna] Don't ask me. I just work here.
[Marco] What's with this place?
I'm never gonna get my wallet!
Why do I live?
Uh, Marco. Look.
Wait, what?
[counting quickly]
[gasps] There are exactly 16 wallets here!
What?!
It's like this place can read our...
Read our what?
[gasping] Unicorn cake! Unicorn cake!
Do you see? Unicorn! Unicorn!
I have always wanted to do this.
-And I've always wanted to do this. -Aww.
Aah! [groaning]
Aw, don't pay that no mind. It's only raspberry!
You guys, this place has everything!
It's true!
Shopping spree!
Ermahgerd.
I've always wanted one of these.
Just a second.
Please, continue. [slurps]
[humming and singing] ♪ Going on a shopping spree ♪
- ♪ Everything's wonderful and-- ♪ [gasps] -[Hamster Band toy playing]
No. Way.
[Hamster Band song continues]
I love you! I love you.
[Hamster Band toy] ♪ Yeah! ♪
Ahh. Convenience.
-Aah! -[Janna] Sorry. My bad.
The crossbow's got a hair trigger.
Janna Fanna Fo-Fanna! Just look at these boots!
Hey, guys! Check out this amazing item of relaxation!
What does it do?
I don't even know!
I love this place so much!
Yeah, it's like everything we've ever wanted just appears.
You know, people keep saying, "Don't wander in creepy places,"
uh, but it's working out pretty fine for us.
[slurping]
Uh, guys? I think we're about to be busted.
That's my favorite part!
Oh, don't mind me. [slurps]
[gulps] I'm just waiting.
-What are you waiting for? -[echoing] What?
[echoing] I said, "What are you waiting for?"
Sorry. The acoustics are really bad in here.
I'll come to you. [slurps]
[slurping continues]
I'm waiting for your brains to go gooey. [slurps]
What?! Why would our brains go gooey?
Well, why didn't you tell 'em, Stu?
You know that everybody who wanders back here's brain
turns to goo.
Oh, yeah. Sometimes, Stu's brain goes gooey.
[laughs] Classic Stu.
Well, our brains feel fine, thank you very much.
Well, yeah. They're fine, for now.
You're in a magical room
that turns all your needless desires
into pointless realities.
Your 16 wallets,
your vibrant fashions,
your...uh...
Yeah, I don't know either, dude.
So, whatever we want just appears here.
[slurps] Pretty much.
Cool. [straining]
-Janna? -[motor running]
I'm baby Marco, and I got wheels for hands!
Whee!
Why?!
'Cause I can.
[straining]
I'm baby Marco, and I got wheels for hands! Whee!
-Janna. -Aw, come on. That was for you, too, girl.
See? Your brains just keep makin' stuff you want,
you're never gonna wanna leave,
then your brains turn to goo.
It happens to everybody that wanders back here.
[Hamster Band toy playing]
Whoa. How did we not see all those cages?
What kinda creepy stuff are you pullin' here, bub?
We're just keeping these people safe.
-They can leave whenever. -[controller beeps]
[whimpering]
Maybe just one more song.
[squeals]
[slurps] They just don't want to leave their stuff.
Well, I'll start getting your cages ready.
Oh, you hear that, guys? He's gettin' our cages ready.
Yeah. It's like he thinks this is the first time
we've been trapped in a back room.
Hey! My dude!
We're pros at these, uh, "situations."
I don't think we're gonna need the cages.
Yeah, we're just gonna head on out.
Sure. The exit's right over there.
But you're never gonna make it
without filling up these shelves
with needless desires.
[scoffs] OK, bub.
Feels like you're not really gettin' who we are.
We don't need stuff.
I mean, sure, a little dancing penguin baby would be tight.
[chirping]
Yeah, that's pretty tight.
But I don't really need it.
Yeah, and I've always wanted a talking bike named "Wheelie."
I'm right here, Marco!
But Wheelie's not really what's important.
What?
And I think we all want an evil Marco
with a mole on the other side of his face.
I am Ocram!
I think we want hundreds of Ocrams.
[all] I am Ocram!
[Janna] But we don't really care.
Look, I'm sure a lot of people
get caught up in whatever this is,
but we're not a lot of people.
We're three people.
We've got everything we want right here.
Come on, guys. Let's get out of here.
Whew! What a crazy place, am I right?
Yeah. You can make, like, whatever.
That was a pretty cool bike you made, Marco.
You named him "Wheelie" and everything.
But, hey, you told them,
"Who needs stuff when you've got friends?"
Yeah! It's not like stuff ever cares about ya.
[Star laughs] Yeah!
[both] Bye, Marco!
[bell rings]
[sighs] You know, I'm really gonna miss Quest Buy.
We have got so many memories here.
Yeah. It's a shame it's gonna be wiped from existence.
-[Janna] Never to be seen from again. -Wait.
I need to go get something!
I'm sorry, but Quest Buy is now closed.
But... but I need to save the babies!
Thank you, local customers, for shopping at Quest Buy.
Have a good... whatever.
What a weird, weird,
sometimes terrifying, magical place.
Whoa!
Kelly's world is... hairy.
All right, let's see here.
Kelly's house should be...
Oh! There it is!
All right. One small step for Marco,
and I'm not sure what I'm steppin' on.
OK. Just gonna pretend this is a normal house.
[grunting]
[doorbell rings]
You're killin' it, Diaz.
Oh! Uh, hi there. I'm Marco.
[Marco] Is... Kelly around?
And he's gone. Is this the right house?
Ow! [grunts]
Uh--
Stand and face me, boy!
Dad? What's going on out here?
This is your dad?! He was trying to--
Fight you? Oh, yeah.
That's just how us Wooletts say hello.
Dad, cool it. You're freaking Marco out.
Oh, right, right, sorry.
Well, now that we're acquainted, Marco,
let me give you a hand.
-[Marco yelps] -[Kelly] Dad!
Uh... hey...
So, Marco, what brings you here?
Well, we talked about making tortas a while ago.
So, I brought over a few ingredients.
At least, they were ingredients.
-Cool. Let's, uh, make some tortas. -[bell rings on TV]
I'm gonna comb you over real good!
Not if I get to those split ends first!
Jus-just kidding. Your-- you hair looks amazing.
[Wrestler #1] Thanks for noticing.
But I'll never reveal my conditioner!
-[bell rings on TV] -Is something wrong?
Sorry. I just haven't felt like doing anything
or talking to anyone lately.
Yeah. I know it's been hard since Tad... you know.
[cell phone vibrating]
Ugh! He just won't stop calling!
Uh, who won't stop calling?
-Tad! -Tad's alive?!
But he's still dead to me.
What happened?
After the battle, he ended up joining this creepy self-help group
and started acting all self-righteous.
He's become...a nester.
What?
-[phone beeps] - Namaste, Kelly.
How's it been? Just wanted to say
- how great I've been doing since we broke up. -Yeesh.
Now that I'm free of all that negative energy,
- I'm a provider now. -[birds chirping]
It's like, life isn't really worth living
unless you're really making a difference in the world.
-[mother bird vomits] - Anyways, gotta go!
- Mother bird provides. -[phone beeps]
"Mother bird provides." Ugh!
I'm sorry, Marco. I'm just in a weird place right now.
Besides, I got a bunch of boring errands to do today.
This library book's not gonna return itself.
Well, I don't mind running to the library with you.
Really? But it's so boring.
Then we can make it fun together!
All right. But don't say I didn't warn you!
Yes, ma'am!
Oh! Ugh! What is this?
You don't want to be caught outside
without your hair on, do you?
Besides, you're gonna need the extra padding.
Trust me.
Oh. That's not ominous at all.
Bye, Mom! We're off to the library!
Bye, sweetie! Don't forget the family ancestral sword!
Yeah, Mom.
Whaaaat?
So, the library's downtown. We'll need to take the bus.
Huh? Oh, man, I'm late for work!
Have a good day, sweetie!
-One, please! [groans] -I don't know why
I haven't gotten around to visiting you sooner!
Two for the downtown express, please!
Oh! Let me get 'em!
Two for the downtown expr-- [grunts]
So, there's no money used here?
Everything's done by fighting?
Yep! Everything.
Movie tickets are two punches,
a hamburger is a kick and a jab.
My uncle bought a yacht once. He's still in the hospital.
Excuse me, young man,
but c-could I fight you for that seat of yours?
Oh, no-no-no-no, please. Just take it.
Whaaa--?
[all gasp]
I-is something wrong?
Marco! You can't just turn down a fight.
That is the most shameful thing you can say to a Woolett!
Yeah! How dare you disrespect that old lady?
If you won't fight her, I will!
Hey! I was gonna fight the old lady!
I'll fight both of ya to fight her! [screams]
[all shouting indistinctly]
Let's get outta here.
[barking]
Sorry this dumb errand is taking way more time than it should.
I don't mind. I always have fun when I'm around you.
Thanks, but you don't have to say that.
Hey, since you guys are so into fighting,
do you have any Dojos around here?
What's a Dojo?
You know, a place you go to practice your sweet moves.
[makes fighting sounds]
Wool-hair-do!
Wool-what-now?
Wool-hair-do!
It's the ancient martial art of Woolania!
Whoa! This looks just like karate!
But hairier! In a good way!
My dad taught me to do these moves when I was a toddler.
It was the first fighting style that I ever learned.
Whoa, what's goin' on here?
Oh, that's Dual Mode. To do that,
you and your partner have to be totally in sync with each other.
Like, uh, two Wooletts with one mind.
Looks fun! You wanna try it out?
Oh, I've never been able to pull it off myself,
but how 'bout one of these guys?
Whoa! How is that even possible?
Yeah. It's illegal in, like, 12 dimensions.
[Marco] Well, I won't tell if you won't tell.
Wow. If I could pull off a roundhouse kick like that,
I'd just roundhouse kick all day.
[chuckles] That's the dream, right?
[cell phone vibrates]
Ugh! It's Tad again!
Why won't he just leave me alone?
You could just block him.
-Really? -Yeah, it's pretty simple.
Just press this button right here.
-Huh. I gotcha. -[phone beeps]
Wow. I cannot believe I didn't know about that.
Wait a minute. Is that the time?
The library closes in five minutes!
Hey! Hey! Don't worry.
If it's a fight they want, I'm sure we can take 'em.
Marco, no! We don't play when it comes to library fines.
If I'm late, I have to cut off my hair!
-What?! -Yeah. So let's book it!
[panting]
[beeps]
OK, you're all set, dear.
Oh, and could you tell your mother "hello" from me?
-[loud punch] -Aah!
[panting] Book!
[dings]
[beeping]
Oh, wow. This was due yesterday.
What?!
I'm afraid you'll have to pay the overdue fee.
Let's make this quick.
Now, hold on!
Don't bother, Marco.
Everything in my life is a mess right now.
What's one more situation that I can't control?
[sighs] Life is cruel.
-Yes, it is! -[Marco] No!
Uh, if Kelly doesn't want to cut her hair,
then she shouldn't have to!
Librarian lady, I challenge you to a fight!
If I win, you let Kelly keep her hair.
[laughs] You know, I've always wanted to fight a Mewman.
Actually, I'm a human.
Yeah, you are. A soft, squishy human
who just threw away his padded Hairsuit.
-Oh. -Well, I guess we're doing this!
OK. Just so you know. Librarians are extremely powerful
and fight pretty dirty, so, uh, use this.
Whoa! Is this your family's ancestral sword?
No! Why would I give that to you?
Found it!
This is my family ancestral sword!
Oh, dang!
Ready?
OK, you take the left two arms,
I'll take the right. And, uh, try not to die.
No promises.
[all grunting]
Take that!
[exclaims, grunts]
Ooh, that makes me angry!
[both grunting]
-Aah! -Kelly!
[grunts]
[all grunting]
Aah!
-[Librarian growling] -[Hair Ninjas exclaiming]
Hey, you know what might be a good idea?
Wool-hair-do?
Yah!
[all exclaiming]
-[Kelly exclaims] -[grunts] You punched my butt! Oh!
[Kelly and Marco] The Top-Knotted Double Fist!
[all grunting indistinctly]
[Kelly and Marco] Legendary Side Bang Sweep!
[growling]
Huh?
[Kelly and Marco] The Twist Out of Destruction!
[both grunt]
-Oh, my gosh! That was amazing! -Oh! You were amazing!
-Um, I cannot believe we just pulled off Dual Mode! -That twirling thing you did!
And then we were like, "whoosh" up in the air!
It was like I had your mind or something.
I didn't even know fighting could feel that way!
I've never felt that way before!
[both laughing]
[both sigh]
[cell phone vibrating]
Uh...
-[phone beeps] -[Tad] You, Kells. It's me again. Tad.
Your ex. Saw a tree, and it reminded me of you.
I thought you blocked him.
-[phone beeps] -[Kelly sighs]
I-- I couldn't do it.
I know it's not smart, and I am ready to move on, but...
Actually, I think I might know how you feel.
I mean, I don't want to have feelings for Star,
'cause they're getting in the way of... other feelings.
Oh. Wow, yeah, then, um...
I guess you do know exactly how I feel.
[chuckling nervously] Oh, yeah. Cool.
Sure is a bummer about the timing of these feelings.
-[fireworks explode] -[music playing]
♪ Your eyes, your eyes The light in your eyes ♪
[stammering]
♪ It's just like the sun Oh, it burns me alive ♪
But... if we're honest about it,
then maybe we could be break-up buddies?
What's that?
Well, you kinda help each other
forget your old feelings.
So you can move on.
Also, you can kiss. When the mood is weirdly romantic.
[chuckles] And you can hold hands.
You know, every time I come to the library,
I learn so much.
[Kelly shudders] We're hopeless.
[Marco] Oh, yeah, hopeless. Yeah, it's my middle name.
[Kelly] Huh. I thought it was "Ubaldo."
Yeah. "Ubaldo" is Spanish for "hopeless."
-Really? -No.
No, I-- I don't think I know Spanish, actually.
♪ She's a princess winning battles ♪
♪ Through the break of dawn ♪
♪ Don't worry when it's night ♪
♪ 'Cause she will keep the lights on ♪
♪ Oh There goes a shining star ♪
- ♪ Evil won't deter her - ♪ No, sir! ♪
♪ 'Cause magic flows through her ♪
♪ Star Butterfly ♪
♪ She is a shining star ♪