♪ We ♪ ♪ Are the Crystal ♪
♪ Gems ♪
♪ We'll always save the day ♪
Steven: ♪ And if you think we can't, we'll ♪
♪ Always find a way ♪
♪ That's why the people ♪
♪ Of this world ♪
♪ Believe in ♪
♪ Garnet ♪ Amethyst: ♪ Amethyst ♪
Pearl: ♪ And Pearl ♪
And Steven!
Steven: Good old beach city,
but so much has changed lately.
I guess after all those abductions,
everything couldn't just return to normal.
With Sadie rocking out and Lars in space,
I can't even enjoy my regular snack at the Big Donut.
What am I gonna do for breakfast now?!
[ Groans ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Doorbell rings ]
Wait a minute.
Big Donut is still open?
[ Gasps ]
Hello. Welcome to the Big Donut.
Garnet?
I have so many questions.
Just one moment.
You'll have to wait your turn.
[ Soft music plays ]
[ Ka-ching! ]
♪♪
[ Doorbell rings ] Welcome to the Big Donut.
Tell me how I may serve you.
I never thought I'd see you working here.
Have we fallen on hard times? Oh, Steven.
This isn't about making ends meet.
This is about being random.
Are you serious?
Oh, yes.
I...don't understand.
♪♪
My future vision allows me
to see down the rivers of possibility,
granting me insight into the possible realities
our actions move us towards.
But that doesn't mean I can predict everything.
What I'm interested in
are these extremely unlikely realities,
so disconnected from the natural course of events
that I can't detect them.
When we act in unnatural ways,
we create new, unforeseen paths,
and arrive at these pools of improbability.
Oh, so you want to do stuff you usually don't
just to see what happens?
I didn't foresee you understanding that.
So, are we gonna clean up that coffee?
That's what we'd normally do.
Let's see what happens to the world
when we don't.
♪♪
[ Coffee drips ]
We are now dwelling
in a totally new pool of improbability.
My future vision is useless here.
I'm scared...
but intrigued.
That's the spirit!
Let's get even more intriguing!
I quit!
Come, Steven!
[ Soft music plays ]
So, what now? Hmm...
Instead of selling food, let's order some.
Like what?
Let's do...pizza.
Now you're talking my language!
Ordering now. [ Phone ringing ]
Fish Stew Pizza.
Uh, I want to order a pizza.
10 pizzas! No, 20 pizzas!
Toppings?
Um...
Surprise me.
Now you're getting it!
I guess deliver it to the Temple.
No...
That's just what they'll be expecting.
Go weirder!
Deliver it to the ocean.
No, no, no! To Kansas!
No, to the moon!
I don't think that's within our delivery radius.
Remember. Improbable, not impossible.
Where's the last place
they'd expect to deliver a pizza?
Oh! Deliver it to...
Fish Stew Pizza.
So, like, this is for pick-up?
Now think, Steven,
about what you typically do when you obtain pizza.
Hmm...
Eat it?
In this timeline, we do the opposite of that.
Hey, you! Have a pizza!
[ Grunts ]
Hey, thanks!
♪♪
[ Seagulls squawking ]
One more pizza to deliver.
Hey, Vidalia's house is around here.
Let's bring her the last pie.
Now, that would be nice.
She must be upset that her son
was taken into space by those Homeworld gems.
You mean Onion?
He isn't in space.
He's right over there.
Sorry, I -- I must be thinking of a different timeline.
Okay...
Well, I'm sure Vidalia would still like some pizza
even if her kid is still on Earth.
Let's go swing by.
[ Knock on door ]
Mother Onion! Open up!
Vidalia: In the garage!
♪♪
Get excited for pizza!
We got pepper flakes,
and we're not afraid to use 'em!
Ahh! Wait a minute.
Steven?
What are you guys doing here?
Trying to scare me to death?
Oh, sorry.
We were just trying to bring you a pizza
in the most unlikely way possible.
Want a slice?
Sure, I could use a break.
I've been working on
this still life of a stepstool,
but I just don't feel inspired.
♪♪
Paint me like one of your Amethysts.
Paint me, too!
So you wanna be my muse, eh?
If it's not too much trouble.
I promise to be very inspiring.
Hmm...
Yeah, I think this is just what I needed.
Strike a pose!
It's struck.
Okay, don't move.
I need to capture your essence.
♪♪
[ Groaning ]
Garnet?
How long do you see me holding still?
Who knows?
The odds of us being here are so slim,
I can't even -- [ Clanging in distance ]
Uh, Garnet?
♪♪
Steven, look.
♪♪
Ba-ba-b-b-- baby kitten?
Is it possible that we chase that sweet cat?
It -- it's up to you, Steven.
Yes?
Don't ask me. Tell me.
Yes!
Whoa! Huh?
♪♪
Sorry, Vidalia!
Maybe next time!
But wait! Your essence!
♪♪
That's one fast kitten.
You think we can catch it?
If we don't lose sight of it.
♪♪
[ Kittens meowing ]
Steven: Aww...
There's more of them.
[ Meowing continues ]
Aww, and they have no food.
Aww, and they have no one to take care of them!
Garnet, we got to help these kittens.
Look at you! You're just babies.
Who knows what would've happened to them
if we didn't find them?
Everything's gonna be just fine.
We've got you.
[ Meowing continues ]
Here's the last one.
Or -- wait.
All right.
I think we got to stop being random
and figure out what we can do for these kittens.
Garnet, can you use your future vision?
What should we do next?
Garnet?
There's so many...cats.
So many possibilities.
It's too much?
Okay, can you focus on one?
What's this one's future?
I...
I don't know!
I don't know anything anymore!
[ Thunder rumbling ]
Are you okay?
Steven, lately, I've felt so lost.
Don't worry.
I remember the way back to town.
Oh, it's not just that.
It's you.
You've made so many decisions I didn't expect --
giving yourself up to Homeworld,
coming back through Lion's mane.
The future that you created was so improbable
that I didn't see it coming at all,
and now I can't understand where this timeline is going.
We're on the outskirts of the possible,
following trickles to who knows where.
Everyone's looking to me for answers.
I can't stand it!
It's so hard for me to just exist
in the first place, Steven.
I want to love being alive.
I want to love that there are so many possibilities,
but I'm the one with this ability,
so I've got to be our guide.
I thought, if I could use my future vision
to jump into improbable futures,
I could get out ahead of the next big, unexpected change,
but I don't know what I'm doing here!
I can't tell what's probable anymore!
Anything could happen!
Anything could happen to these cats!
[ Kittens meowing ]
That's true,
but maybe instead of
thinking of all the things that could happen,
let's just pick the thing we want to happen
and do that.
So, what do you want to happen next?
I want to get these cats out of the rain.
♪♪
And then what?
♪♪
Okay, sounds good.
Thank you so much.
Great news.
The shelter has a foster program.
They said they can pick up the cats tomorrow.
Thank goodness.
Whew. Glad to hear it!
How are you little guys holding up?
Anyone need to use the bathroom?
Make a phone call?
[ Laughs ]
You guys are gonna be just fine.
I think I get it. Hm?
Why my future vision has been so off.
I have to change the way I think about you.
What?
I've been looking into probable futures
where you act like a child.
I keep expecting you to run from responsibility
and to turn to me for help,
but you don't do that anymore.
Those futures aren't probable at all.
There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision.
I just need to factor in that you've grown up.
[ Laughs ]
I guess I have,
but it's only because I'm trying to be more like you.
You always know what to do.
Not always.
Okay, most of the time.
I want to adopt this one.
There's something about her.
Really?
Is that a probable future? It is now.
Besides, I've missed having someone cute and vulnerable
to take care of.
I think I'll call her "Steven."
Isn't that gonna get confusing?
All right, then. Cat Steven.
Oh, my gosh! Wow!
Oh, okay. This is the best!
What, you're adopting one?
Too bad I couldn't get her in your portrait,
which I managed to finish, by the way.
[ Gasps ] Really?
What about our essence?
Well, I fudged it, but I think I got it.
[ Both gasp ]
[ Waves crashing ]
[ Kitten purring ]
♪♪
Lars: Captain's log -- I think it's Friday.
I've ordered Rhodonite to do a spectral scan of the system.
Hopefully, one of these asteroids
has the Flotanium deposits
we need to get our warp engines back online.
Hmm. [ Grunts ]
What now, Steven?
A letter?
Steven: "Dear Lars, how's space? Is it still big?
You don't have to answer that right now.
This is a letter.
Since you're away from home, I thought I'd fill you in
on what's been going on at Beach City.
Everyone misses you so much.
Since Sadie is busy with the band,
no one is around to open up the Big Donut."
[ Sighs ]
Oh, come on. Are they still not open?
Ugh. I know Sadie quit a while ago,
but why the heck isn't Lars here to pick up the slack?
Uh, Ronaldo, Lars is in space.
[ Laughs ]
Good one, Steven.
I needed that.
You're serious?
Don't you remember when everyone in town was abducted by Gems?
Mayor Dewey had to give all those speeches about it.
Do you believe everything the government tells you?
I'm the one who told the government.
Wait, what?
So that means... Mm-hmm.
So Lars is really in space?
Mm-hmm. Is he in danger?
Surrounded by aliens?
All of the above.
This is a nightmare.
I'm the one who should be in space!
Why does Lars get to be whisked away into the infinite cosmos
on an adventure of a lifetime?
It's so ironic it hurts my soul.
[ Sobbing ]
There, there.
Morning, Universe.
Oh, good morning.
Still not open, huh?
I guess me and the Big Donut have a lot in common now.
We're both empty inside.
Steven: "As far as local politics,
Mayor Dewey isn't mayor anymore.
There was an election and Nanefua
won with her platform of working together."
Nanefua: So we are all in agreement, yes?
In the event of a Gem-related emergency,
everyone should go to the newly-designated shelters.
Me and Garnet can take care of food rations.
Anyone know a good, non-perishable brand of chaps?
You can also put some pizza ingredients on ice just in case.
That's a great idea, Garnet.
We can ask all the local restaurants to pitch in food
in case we have to hide for awhile.
These all seem like great plans,
but how are you going to get in contact
with everyone when there is an emergency?
This may be a small town, but it's a big small town.
Oh, Mayor Gunga, I could drive you around
while you use the loudspeaker to spread the word through town.
Cheese on bread! That's a good idea.
While Jenny does that, I can take to the boardwalk on foot
and let all the businesses know what's up.
And as soon as we know of any impending danger,
I'll give everyone a call on my cellular phone.
It might be easier if you just sent out a mass text.
What number do I call for mass text?
Pearl, is this your first cell phone?
Maybe.
Is there anything else we can do to beef up the town's security?
It would be nice if we could have some kind of lookout.
Maybe I'll pick up one of the high-powered telescopes
for the lighthouse or something.
I volunteer! I love looking out.
If I can't be in space, then I can at least look at it.
Nanefua: This is beautiful.
Ronaldo, Greg, you're on lookout duty.
Kiki, Pearl, you are in charge of communication.
Steven, Garnet, you call for rations.
And Jenny and I will spread the word about the plan.
Now everyone is helping to make our town safe.
Everyone except me.
Aww.
Oh, you made things awkward.
Steven: "Sadie Killer and the Suspects are still going strong.
They're gearing up for a huge show right here in Beach City.
I hope you can make it back in time to see them play."
And just as the chorus is finishing up,
I'll grab this fake but very realistic chainsaw,
and then Steven will hit me with the lights,
and we'll all scream.
Aah. Aah.
And then I'll come out.
Oogity boogity.
I don't think you get it, Dad.
We're going for scary scary, not ha-ha scary.
Oh. All right. I just wanted to help.
Did you cut holes in my bedsheets?
Steven: "Jamie the mailman has been making a lot of progress
establishing a local theater scene.
He's done a bunch of one-man shows
and even started teaching improv."
People of Beach City, are you ready to laugh your butts off?
I am!
We got a killer lineup for you tonight,
so please welcome the Beach City Laugh Guards.
Whoo! Yeah!
Now all we need to get started
is a single word from the audience.
Pearl: Steven!
We do a scene about Steven every week.
Well, I think those scenes are good.
Uh, spaghetti! No. No. Uh, car.
No. That's not good.
Oh, how about plumber?
I heard "plumber."
And now the Beach City Laugh Guards will perform a completely
improvised scene based on the word plumber.
No. Do Steven!
Wait, cats!
And no more suggestions for the rest of the show.
Thanks for coming out on such short notice.
My sink is clogged.
Well, looks like we're going to need one of these.
[ Steven laughs ] No, no, no. Cut. Stop.
Notes -- Barb, love how you set up the scene.
Amethyst, you don't have to "become" a plunger.
Just pretend to have one. Observe and learn.
Ah...
Ooh.
Uh...
What? Wow.
That's way too confusing. You could be holding anything.
I'm holding a plunger.
Pearl: Oh.
I thought you were holding a long, skinny submarine sandwich.
Steven: Pearl! Be nice.
It's obviously much more clear
if you can see the actual plunger.
She's got a point, there, dude.
[ Laughs ] Looks like I improved improv.
Dewey: Did I miss my cue?
Oh. Whatever.
Hello, ladies.
It's me, the waiter in this restaurant.
Can I offer you some more worms?
Blackout.
It was better than last week.
Steven: "Anyways, my dad is still rich
even after buying that telescope,
so he's been trying out rich people sports.
He an Garnet have been playing tennis on the weekends."
[ Panting ]
Garnet, this is a little intense for a warm-up.
Maybe we could try a light volley?
This is light.
Being rich has made you week.
Oh, hey, tennis.
Room for one m-- Ow!
Steven: "In other sports-related news,
Beach City Underground Wrestling has been intense lately.
The Marmalade Boys fought each other in,
you guessed it, marmalade.
The crowd was eating it up,
but not literally because that would be gross.
Concrete Heat faced off against the Wolf of Wall Street
inside a steel cage,
and the Good-Looking Gang finally lost the Tag-Team Title
to the Sea Wasp and Shark-o-mania.
I know you don't need to eat anymore,
but I thought you'd still be interested
in the local french fry scene in Beach City.
Peedee started his very own food truck.
He's not old enough to drive yet, though,
so it's kind of just another fry stand."
Hey, Steven. What will it be?
What have you got?
Well, I deal exclusively in tater tots now.
That's great, Peedee. Can I get the bits?
Uh, why don't you try the tots?
They're the fry of the future.
Do the tots have bits?
[ Sighs ] I'll get you the bits.
I like your super-cool truck, Peedee.
I love the giant potato on the top.
Oh, thanks. It actually used to be the Mayor Mobile.
I just painted over Mayor Dewey's head.
It's a good thing that his head was so big and lumpy.
Yeah.
The new city board practically just gave it to me, too.
It's like they wanted nothing to do with it anymore.
Everything has been pretty great for me
since Nanefua became mayor.
Oh, no.
All right. I got the bits.
Steven?
[ Sighs ]
Mayor Dewey, wait!
You know, Universe, seeing my old Mayor Mobile
turned into a giant potato
made me realize that nothing is like it used to be.
My old life, my old town, my old citizens,
they've all changed.
They've all outgrown me, I suppose.
Well, of course everyone is changing.
Nothing can stay the same forever.
You know what I miss the most about being the mayor?
The little things, getting dressed and ready for work,
walking down the boardwalk
seeing everyone's smiling faces, yes.
Knowing I had a place in this town.
I used to look forward to it every day,
just like the people of this town
used to look forward to their morning donut.
I guess these days no one gets what they want.
Wait a second. I have an idea.
"And so Mayor Dewey started working at the Big Donut.
It seemed as if the entire town showed up
for the grand reopening.
The whole thing filled Mr. Dewey with a new sense of purpose.
He's really changing things up, too.
Well, not really, but he is naming
all the donuts after himself."
Next in line, please.
I'll have a regular glazed.
One Classic Dewey coming up.
And how about a freshly fried Dewey Roll on the house?
Take it easy, Billy.
You're going to go out of business.
Ha ha! You're cute.
Steven: "But there is one donut that's not named after Dewey.
He let me name a donut after you.
It's a pink donut with pink sprinkles.
I call it the Pink Lars.
Even though you're in space, there's still a part of you here
in sweet, delicious donut form.
You got to try one when you get back.
Anyway, hope this letter finds you in good spirits.
Love, Steven."
I appreciate the letter, but why did you write this
if you were just going to tell me everything in person anyway?
Sometimes it's nice to be read to.
You realize I don't know who half of these people are, right?
Like, who the heck is Peridot?
Someone who misses you every day, I think.
You know what? You haven't met before.
I'll have to introduce you when you get back to Earth.
Huh. Thanks for the letter, Steven.
♪♪