♪
♪ WANDER OVER YONDER
♪ WANDER, WANDER, OVER, OVER YONDER, YONDER ♪
♪ WANDER YONDER
♪ WANDER OVER YONDER
♪ WANDER, WANDER, OVER, OVER YONDER, YONDER ♪
♪ YONDER WANDER
♪ WANDER OVER YONDER
( evil laughter )
♪ WANDER OVER YONDER
♪ WANDER, WANDER, OVER, OVER YONDER, YONDER ♪
♪ WONDER YONDER
♪ WANDER OVER YONDER
DON'T DO IT, WANDER.
SYLVIA...
DON'T DO IT!
I...CAN'T HELP IT.
WANDER!
I GOTTA KNOW WHAT'S IN THIS BOX!!!
NO, YOU DON'T, WANDER.
WE'RE GONNA DELIVER THAT BOX
JUST LIKE WE PROMISED THAT GUY.
Sylvia: IT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO.
AND WE'RE NOT GONNA OPEN IT,
JUST LIKE WE PROMISED.
LOOK, WANDER, DON'T SWEAT IT.
IT'LL GO LIKE THIS:
WE TAKE A LITTLE DETOUR,
GET THE BOX TO GLEN--
WHOEVER HE IS--
HE OPENS IT RIGHT THERE.
YOU GO, "WHOA. THAT'S AMAZING."
WE GET ON WITH OUR LIVES.
BA-DA-BING, BA-DA-BOOM.
( whimpering )
YOU CAN DO THIS.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
( laughs ) WHATEVER'S IN HERE'S PROBABLY
NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING, ANYWAY--
LIKE... ( scoffs )
BLANK ADDRESS LABELS...
OR STICKERS, OR FLASH CARDS...
OR A CHOCOLATE SPOON, OR A GREEN ERASER...
OR A DISPOSABLE "PILLA,"
OR A NIGHT VISION MONOCLE,
OR A FAKE LUNG, OR TINSEL...
OR A BAT, OR A HAT,
OR A BAT WITH A HAT,
OR A HAT WITH A BAT!
HERE. GET YOUR MIND OFF THINGS.
( sighs ) GREAT IDEA.
SINGING SONGS ALWAYS SOOTHES MY SORROWS.
( plucking )
OH...
♪ BOX, BOX, BOX, BOX
♪ WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
♪ CLOCKS, BLOCKS, ROCKS, LOX? ♪
♪ A FELLER NAMED JACQUES?
( discordant notes )
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST TURN IN.
( sighs ) EVEN BETTER.
SNOOZIN' A SPELL ALWAYS WHILES AWAY MY WORRIES.
NIGHT, WANDER. NIGHT, "BOX-IA."
( insects chirping )
( intermittent plucking )
( grumbles ) FOR GROP'S SAKE,
KEEP IT--
( plucking, whimpering )
YOU WERE UP ALL NIGHT, WEREN'T YA?
THINKIN' ABOUT THE BOX?
OH, WE REALLY GOT TO GET TO GLEN'S.
AND FAST.
OKAY, THESE SPACE COASTERS ARE GREAT--
WAY FASTER THAN THE ORBBLE TRANSPORTER.
YOU WAIT HERE, AND I'LL GET THE TICKETS.
SYLVIA?
( squeakily ) I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
( sighs ) LISTEN, IT'S--
IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING INSIDE.
IT'S JUST A-- ( stammers )
A DUMB PAIR OF SOCKS. ( chuckles )
( whimpering ) WHENEVER YOU FEEL TEMPTED,
JUST SAY TO YOURSELF, "PAIR OF SOCKS."
( whispers ) Pair of socks.
PERFECT. YOU GOT THIS.
( crowd murmuring indistinctly )
PAIR OF SOCKS. PAIR OF SOCKS.
GIVE ME THE BOX.
NO. GIVE ME THE BOX.
( screaming ) PAIR OF SOCKS! PAIR OF SOCKS! PAIR OF SOCKS!
PAIR OF SOCKS! ( shouting gibberish )
( screams )
( gasps )
( cackling wildly )
( gasps )
( bawling )
GIVE US THE BOX!
♪
( screaming )
WANDER! OH, GEEZ,
I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR YOU EVERYWHERE.
YOU SCARED THE FLARF OUT OF ME!
( gasping ) THERE WERE THESE GUYS!
THEN THERE WAS SCREAMING,
AND THE LAUGHING, AND THE CRYING IN THE NIGHT!
W--JUST POINT 'EM OUT, BUD.
I'LL TAKE 'EM DOWN.
THEY'RE RIGHT OVER...
THERE?
MMM. COME ON, PAL.
YOU CAN REST ON THE TRAIN.
( train whistle blowing )
( snoring )
( Sylvia snorts, groans )
( snoring )
( gasps )
WANDER?
( echoing )
WANDER?
( distorted ) WANDER?
♪
♪ BOX, BOX, BOX, BOX
♪ WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
♪ MIGHT BE A ( indistinct )
♪ OR A BRAND-NEW PAIR OF SOCKS... ♪
♪ BOX, BOX, BOX, BOX, WHAT--
( growls )
♪ BOX, BOX, BOX, BOX... ( repeating )
( growls )
( screams )
AAH!
( panting )
( sighs )
IT'S OKAY, BUDDY. WE'RE HERE.
( train whistle blowing )
WHEW!
THANK GOODNESS THAT'S OVER.
NOW I CAN FINALLY FIND OUT WHAT'S IN THIS B--
( groaning loudly )
( screaming )
FINAL STRETCH, PAL.
YOU CAN MAKE IT.
♪
HUH? ( sniffing )
COOKIES? ( sniffing )
THE SALTY SEASHORE OF TRALFAR FIVE?
( sniffing ) NANA'S OLD-TIMEY POTPOURRI?
I GOTTA KNOW WHAT'S IN THIS BOX!!!
Sylvia: RESIST IT, WANDER.
I KNOW YOU CAN!
( whimpering )
( gasps )
( whimpering )
HANG ON, BUDDY!
♪
I DIDN'T OPEN THE BOX!
NO, YA DIDN'T, MY FRIEND.
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
Wander: GONE FISHIN'?
( whimpering )
( screaming )
NO!!!
( both groaning )
♪
YOU CAN'T BOX ME, BOX-IA! I'M GONNA BOX THIS BOX,
AND THERE'S ( indistinct ) BOX CAN BOX, BOX, BOX!
( sighs )
GO AHEAD. DO IT.
HUH?
LISTEN, I BELIEVE YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS,
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT YOURSELF.
( sighs ) I SURE HOPE GLEN CATCHES SOME FISH SOON.
PROUD OF YOU, BUDDY.
AS AM I.
( gasping )
FOR YOU, GLEN.
Glen: THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
THIS IS A FINE DEED YOU HAVE PERFORMED.
( ethereal voice ) I AM A LORD OF ILLUMINATION.
( echoing ) AS ARE THEY.
UH-HUH.
SO...
WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
THE BOX...
WAS A TEST.
Lord of Illumination: AND WANDER,
YOU PASSED.
WOW. THANKS. THAT IS AMAZING.
SO WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
( chuckling )
NO, YOU SEE,
THE BOX WAS A SYMBOL.
BECAUSE YOU DID NOT OPEN IT,
YOU HAVE EARNED STRENGTH OF CHARACTER.
MM-HMM. BUT COULD YOU SHOW ME
WHAT'S IN THE BOX? 'CAUSE IT COULD BE SO MANY THINGS.
LIKE A BAT, OR A HAT,
OR A BAT WITH A HAT,
OR A HAT WITH A BAT,
OR TINSEL, OR A FAKE LUNG. OR--
THIS WHOLE THING WAS A SETUP.
THERE'S NOTHIN' IN THE BOX, IS THERE?
YES. YES. YOU GET IT.
COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME EXPLAIN?
...PAIR OF SOCKS, OR A PAIR OF SOCKS,
OR A PAIR OF SOCKS--
LISTEN, YOU COSMIC CREEPS,
MY BUDDY HERE DOESN'T WANT
YOUR GREATER CONSCIOUSNESS HULLABALOO.
WHAT HE WANTS IS TO SEE SOMETHING
IN THE BOX!
( rhythmically ) SO PUT SOMETHING
IN THE BOX.
( stammers in normal voice )
WE ARE THE LORDS OF ILLUMINATION,
AND I DON'T THINK YOU CAN TALK TO US THIS WAY.
( stammering ) OKAY, OKAY. IT'S COOL.
IT'S COOL.
( whispering indistinctly )
...FLASH CARDS, OR STICKERS,
OR BLANK ADDRESS LABELS, OR A PAIR OF SOCKS--
UH, WANDER?
UH...
( ethereal voice ) BEHOLD.
Lord of Illumination: ( singsongy ) DUH-DA-DA!
Wander: OH, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT.
A PIECE OF STRING, A HARD CANDY,
AN OLD PENNY, AND A "WORLD'S GREATEST GRANDPA" KEYCHAIN.
♪
'KAY, THANKS.
SEE YA, FELLAS!
OUR INTENT WAS TO TEACH WANDER,
BUT IT SEEMS AS THOUGH
WE WERE THE ONES IN NEED--
OH, JUST STOP IT.
♪
( normal voice ) I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A GRANDPA.
YOU NEVER ASK ME ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE.
♪
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING,
ALL I WANTED WAS A NICE PIECE
OF SLARNACK'S DELI'S DELECTABLE JELLYFISH PIE.
( gagging )
BUT INSTEAD, THIS IS HAPPENING!!!
( creature roaring )
♪
Wander: LET'S SEE IF THE OLE HAT WILL HELP.
( groans )
THANK YOU, HAT! ( groans )
( screaming )
( grunts )
( Wander yelling indistinctly in distance )
Wander: OKAY, SYLVIA,
I'M GONNA JUMP,
AND YOU JUST REACH OUT AND CATCH ME!
GOT IT?!
WHAT?!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Sylvia: ( in distance ) ...SPEAK UP!
LOOK WHERE YOU ARE
AND LOOK WHERE I AM!
HMM.
♪
I MEAN SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME
TO HEAR YOU FROM--OW!
Wander ( over phone ): RING, RING, RING.
I SAID, "CATCH ME!"
( roaring )
REACH INTO THAT HAT
AND GET SOMETHIN' ELSE
TO GET US OUTTA HERE!
♪
( roaring )
OH, GIVE IT TO ME!
FLAMETHROWER. FLAMETHROWER.
COME ON, FLAMETHROWER!
YOGA MAT?
( chimes tinkling ) WIND CHIMES?
SCENTED CANDLE?
Woman ( on machine ): TAKE A DEEP, CLEANSING BREATH
INTO YOU CHAKRAS.
OH! WHY WON'T THIS OVERGROWN ( metal clangs)
SUN VISOR GIVE ME WHAT I WANT?!
FUNNY THING, SYLVIE--
YOU SEE, OVER THE YEARS,
I'VE LEARNED THAT THIS HAT
DOESN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.
IT GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED.
AND RIGHT NOW, IT THINKS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.
Sylvia: I...DO...
NOT...NEED... TO...CALM...DOWN!
A STRESS BALL.
( groaning )
( spouts gibberish )
( panting )
W-WAIT, I--WHAT?
VICTORY DANCE!
♪
THE HAT WORKS FOR YOU,
NOT FOR ME.
LOVES YOU.
IT TOTALLY HATES ME.
( gasps )
WANDER.
WANDER!
WANDER!!!
Wander ( over phone ): RING, RING, RING.
SYLVIA!
WANDER! WANDER!
WHERE ARE YOU?!
SYLVIA?
SYL-VI-A!
( feedback whining, Wander tapping microphone ) IS THIS THING ON?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?! WANDER!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU AT ALL. ARE YOU MOVING AROUND?
YOU SHOULD MAYBE TRY MOVING AROUND.
( grumbles )
JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!
HMM. OH! MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TELL YOU WHERE I AM.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE WHERE I AM.
IT'S WET, DARK, AND WARM.
AND THERE'S WATER SLOSHING ALL AROUND ME.
BUT DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT ME.
I GOT THE HAT!
I'VE GOT THE HAT.
OH, WAIT-- YOU'VE GOT THE HAT.
JUST STAY PUT!
I'LL COME FIND YOU!
I GUESS I'LL JUST STAY PUT,
AND YOU CAN FIND ME.
( grumbles )
Sylvia: HMM.
"WET,
"DARK,
WARM."
BINGO!
HANG ON, WANDER! I'M COMIN' FOR YA!
♪
( creature roaring )
OOH, GROP.
ALL RIGHT, HAT,
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW.
NO MORE PLAYIN' AROUND!
THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
( creature roars )
I DON'T NEED ANYTHING FANCY,
SO HOW 'BOUT YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND GIVE ME
ONE OF THOSE LITTLE BALLS, OKAY?
♪
( creature roars )
LET'S DO THIS!
( roars )
( yells )
( creature groans )
( creature roars )
WHAT WAS THAT BACK THERE?
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME EATEN?
( inhales deeply, sighs )
OKAY. MAYBE I WASN'T MAKING MYSELF CLEAR.
WE NEED TO SAVE WANDER.
SO WE NEED TO GO THERE
WITHOUT ATTRACTING ATTENTION
OF THE GIGANTIC, ZBORNACK-EATING MONSTER. UNDERSTAND?
GOOD. OKAY.
HERE WE GO!
♪
( siren wailing )
( yelling )
( roars )
( yells )
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
( sighs ) NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, HAT.
I WANT SOMETHING TO FLY UP THERE.
AND YOU'RE GONNA GIVE IT TO ME. CAPISCE?
( gasps ) A JETPACK!
YES!
THANK YOU!
ENGAGE THRUSTER!
OH, GROP.
( Sylvia yelling )
( pinball effects )
( Sylvia grunting )
( grunting continues )
Wander ( over phone ): RING, RING, RING.
HEY, SYLVIA. IT'S ME, WANDER.
WHEN DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT GET HERE?
( creature growling ) NO BIG RUSH,
BUT JUST A HEADS-UP, THE WATER'S NOW
UP TO MY-- ( gurgling ) WHAT?
( Sylvia yelling )
( grunts )
YOU! I'M GIVIN' YOU
ONE LAST CHANCE,
YOU EMPTY BRAIN-BAG!
( groans ) SO THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA BE, HUH?!
WELL, FINE. FINE!
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.
( creature roaring )
HEY, YOU NO-NECK-HAVING,
HALITOSIS-BLOWING,
DENTISTRY-NEEDING MAGGOT!
COME AND GET ME!
( roars )
WHOA!
♪ RIDE, SYLVIA, RIDE YEAH!
♪ RIDE, SYLVIA, RIDE ( laughing )
♪ RIDE, SYLVIA, RIDE
♪ NOW RIDE, SYLVIA, RIDE
HAH!
IN YOUR FACE, HAT!
Wander ( over phone ): RING, RING, RING.
OH, HEY, SYLVIA,
I'LL ALWAYS L--
( gurgling )
I'M ALMOST THERE, WANDER!
HEE-YAH!
WANDER!
WANDER?!
( creature roars ) ( screams )
( grunts ) WHAT DO I DO NOW?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SAVE WANDER
WHEN ALL I HAVE IS THIS LOUSY,
BACKSTABBING, UNHELPFUL,
UNCOOPERATIVE HAT
THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
AND ONLY GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED?
( gasps )
DOESN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.
IT ONLY GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED!
( chuckling ) LOOK,
I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR PROBLEMS.
YOU HATE ME, AND GROP KNOWS
I HATE YOU.
BUT THIS IS WANDER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
HE'S OUR FRIEND,
AND I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HELP HIM.
SO DO YOUR THING
AND GIVE ME WHAT I NEED
TO SAVE WANDER.
( yelling ) ROLLER-SKATES?! WHY, YOU--
( calmly ) NO--OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S COOL. THAT'S COOL. I COULD WORK WITH ROLLER SKATES.
( inhales deeply )
OKAY. I'M READY!
ANY TIME NOW.
ANY...TIME.
ANY...
( creature roars )
I HATE YOU, HAT!!!
( screaming )
( guts burping )
I'M GONNA TEAR YOU BRIM FROM BRIM!
WANDER! ( gasping )
HI, SYLVIA!
YOU'RE ALIVE.
YOU'RE ALIVE!
SO THAT MEANS YOU, AND THE WORM,
AND THE FALLING INTO THE--
AND THE HAT-- THE HAT--
MWAH--WAS GIVING ME
EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED
TO FIND YOU!
OH, I LOVE THIS HAT!
I KNOW, RIGHT?!
NOW, TO GET ON OUTTA HERE.
PLEASE...ALLOW ME.
SLARNACK'S DELI'S JELLYFISH PIE?
WHAT THE...
( gagging )
( groaning )
( gurgling )
( retching )
( groaning )
( vomiting )
Wander and Sylvia: WHOA!
LOOK, SYLVIA! WE MADE IT!
SLARNACK'S DELI!
♪
I HATE THAT HAT.
( retching )
( panting )
( retching )
( retching continues )
( panting )
( creature vomiting )