♪♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit ♪ ♪ Wander over yonder ♪
♪ Wander wander over over yonder yonder wander yonder ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit ♪ ♪ Wander over yonder ♪
All right! Hater!
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit ♪ ♪ Wander over yonder ♪
♪ Wander over, over yonder ♪
♪ Wander yonder wander yonder ♪
♪ Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit ♪ ♪ Wander over yonder ♪
( crowing )
Okay, Wander, I'm up.
You don't have to...
Since when am I the first one up?
Good morning, Sylvia.
What a beautiful day.
Uh, you feeling okay there, buddy?
Okay?
I'm feeling great.
How's about a rousing "good morning" song
to get this day started right?
( humming and playing discordantly )
Wander, are you... sick?
Me sick? No way.
Sylvia, I can assure you that I am the farthest thing in the world
from being... ( sneezes loudly )
...sick.
I'm fine, Sylvia.
Really. I have too much to do today to be sick.
I'll just power through with the power...
friendship, smile, sunshine.
Banjo face or something.
Oh, no. The only way you're gonna get better
is if you get some rest.
I'll take care of everything.
Oh, don't go out of your way for me.
I got this. I got this.
I got this, I got this.
I... I did it!
Okay, I'm gonna go get some wood for a fire.
You stay here and rest.
Okay.
Wander, what are you...
Helping you collect firewood.
( thunder crashing )
You don't have to do anything, okay?
If you need something, just ask.
Is there anything you need?
Well, a glass of water might be nice.
One water, coming right...
...up.
- Stay. - You got it.
Just as soon as I help you start this fire... ( sneezes )
Buddy. ( sighs )
I know you always wanna help,
but sometimes, you have to take care of yourself first.
But I can't be sick.
I'm already way behind on my morning helping routine.
If I don't help everyone who needs helping,
terrible things might happen.
Yeah, like you getting so sick you can't help anyone.
So you miss out on a few chores.
It's not the end of the universe.
( muffled groan )
How about I do your helping routine for you?
Really? I don't know.
It's kind of a tall order.
Come on. You've helped me so many times.
It's time for you to let me help you.
Just tell me what you need me to do
and I will go do it while you stay here and do nothing.
Well... okay.
I usually start my morning by making brekkies for you,
me, and any locals that might be around.
Did you feed all the locals?
All the locals?
Next, I usually go give Buster a good scratch
behind the ears.
You've gotta go hit the snooze button
on Lord Hater's alarm clock,
or he'll be really cranky all day.
( screeching )
Give the black cube a banjo lesson.
Raise the soles of Peepers' shoes another eighth of an inch.
Oh, way to grow, Commander Peepers.
Let's get awesome.
And feed Emperor Awesome's white tigrexes.
Oh, the Watchdogs' intramural tetherball finals
are today, and they need a referee.
( whistle blowing )
- Point, Barry. - Whoo hoo!
Give the floor at Blorpee's a good mopping.
You missed a... ( sneezes ) spot.
Double check that no one on Okeydokeyia needs help/
We never do.
Hit Hater's snooze button again.
( screeching )
Change Huckleberry Knucklehead's diaper.
Throw out anything that doesn't have a name in the Watchdogs' fridge.
Return any lost socks.
( sobbing loudly )
Isn't that your sock?
Oh, yeah.
Make sure to hit Lord Hater's snooze button one more time.
- ( sneezes ) - ( screeching )
Oh, and there's one more thing.
Water Dominator's cactus.
What? But... wait.
Why does Dominator even have a cactus?
( sniffing wetly )
I left a cactus in her guest bathroom
the last time we were there.
I thought it really brightened up the place.
( coughs, sniffs ) But you're right, Syl.
I shouldn't ask you to do something so dangerous.
I will do it myself.
Flab drass it, Wander.
Crab-hammerin' cactus.
Where is this guest bathroom anyway?
- ( loud sneeze ) - Oh, no.
Wander!
Hey, Sylvia.
Wait. Is this the...
Is this the guest bathroom?
But where's the cactus?
Yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you.
I actually think I might've just dreamed
about getting Dominator a cactus.
You know what? We should go get her a cactus.
Call it Spike.
( sighs )
Stay there...
and rest!
Okay?
( sniffles ) Okay, Sylvia.
Oh, you seriously do all this every day before I'm even awake?
You're a very heavy sleeper.
I could use a nap now, that's for sure.
- Sylvia!! - What is it?
I forgot to visit Ms. Myrtle.
- Who's what now? - ( sniffles very wetly )
Every week, I visit this kindly old lady, Ms. Myrtle,
and bring her a can of snickerdoodles,
so we can chat, we can catch up.
Oh, she loves snickerdoodles.
I can't let her down.
Oh, Wander, you not visiting an old lady
is not the end of the universe.
But, but, but!
Wander, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay. I will go visit Ms. Myrtle for you.
But you have to promise me
that you're gonna stay right here
and finally get some rest, okay?
( sighs )
I promise.
Good. Now sleep.
You got it.
Sylvia! The snickerdoodles!
Huh. Weird place for some old biddy to live.
Ms. Myrtle?
- Ms... - ( loud rumbling )
Ms. Myrtle?
I'm coming, Sylvia.
Who dares disturb the slumber of Ms. Myrtle,
the eternal turtle, keeper of the cosmos,
weaver of the very fabric of the galaxy?!
Only I can save the universe.
Must deliver snicker... doodles.
( sneezes )
Ms. Myrtle, please don't destroy the universe.
I'm here, I'm here.
I brought your snicker...
( laughing ) And then the ballet dancer says,
"Annihilation? I thought her name was Susan."
( laughter )
Myrtle?
Oh, hello, Wander.
Your delightful friend Sylvia and I are having such a grand time.
But, but, but... the cookies.
Why hasn't the universe ended?
Oh, Wander dear,
though I do enjoy your visits,
Sylvia said you were sick,
so I understand why you couldn't come.
It's all right to let other people help you, you know.
It's not the end of the universe.
( laughter )
Yeah, never hurts to let someone... help.
( snoring )
Snickerdoodle?
( laughs ) Oh, no.
I can't stand those things.
( laughs )
Seriously, get them out of my sight,
or I'll destroy the universe.
Wow!
Sylvia, there's a whole little planet in here
full of these little itty-bitty Bitties.
Wander, put that down before he sees you.
You dare touch the stuff of the mighty wizard Neckbeard,
the all-knowing naysayer.
( coughs )
Sorry, sorry.
He was just making sure no one else touches it.
And now, he's putting it back, right, Wander?
( sighs ) Look, I'm like the most laid-back guy there is.
But this is my shop full of rare and dangerous
magic items too complex for your tiny minds to comprehend.
So if you don't wanna unleash the wrath of the greatest wizard in the universe,
you gotta treat my word as law.
Law one: no touching!
Especially not my orb. Feel me, muchacho?
Sorry, O great Neckbeard.
It won't happen again.
So you want me to help you find something
to deal with this "Dominator" lady?
Yes. We heard you have an item of great power
that can zap her as far away from this galaxy as possible.
- Is that right? - No.
I have something that will translocate her
as far away as possible, but "zapping,"
I have no idea what that is.
Okay. We heard you have an item that can
translocate her as far away as possible.
Please, O mighty Neckbeard, you're our only hope.
( loud groan )
Fine. Follow me.
Translocate you into the next dimension, you big...
Wander, no!
Even if he is being a real jerk,
this guy may have the only thing that can help us.
So stay put, don't question him,
and stay out of his business.
What bad can come from learning about these little guys?
I mean, the more you know, the more you grow.
No. No knowin', no growin',
or we'll be throwin' outta here,
and Dominator will be blowin' our galaxy to bits.
Well, your point did rhyme, so okay.
Oh, what could one little eyeball in somebody else's business hurt?
( gasps )
Look at all those little Bitties
on their itty-bitty world
leading their itty-bitty Bitty lives.
Why, it's Billy Bitty.
He's lost his entire family. Oh, no.
Will he have to scour the universe
leaving no stone... oh no, there they are.
It's Billy's wife Betty,
kissing him sweetly on his way to work.
Meanwhile, Betty meets her sister-in-law Beatrice
a professional masseuse who's unlucky in love.
Unbeknownst to Beatrice, her true love Benedict
is on the opposite side of town,
searching for something to fill
the Beatrice-sized hole in his heart.
If only they could find each other.
But I promised not to mess with 'em.
Whoops.
( happy squealing ) Romance is in the air.
What was that?
- Banjo, huh? - ( humming )
Yeah, well, I play... the Theremin.
- ( tiny screams ) - Oh, no!
Oh, yeah, Theremins are super complicated.
When people hear I play, they're all, like,
"No way! That's too hard."
But then I show them, and they're, like,
"Stop. Stop being a wizard immediately,
and be a pro musician."
And I'm all, "Thanks, but I'm killing it
in the magic biz."
Hey, speaking of magic,
do you have any idea where to find this zapping...
I mean, this translocating device?
Because we know your time is so very valuable,
and we are ashamed to waste even a second of it.
Do not question my methods, lady.
I am Neckbeard, the all-knowing naysayer,
and my methods shall be revealed
when I... see... fit!
( sighs ) I think it's over here.
( Bitties screaming )
Whew! You're safe.
Oh, uh... hi.
- Uh, folks call me-- - ( screaming )
( Wander stammering )
Hushy-hush, hushy-hush.
Don't be in such a crushy-rush.
Just hushy-hush, hushy-hush,
and fussy won't make such a fuss.
That was a close one. Phew!
ALL: Phew!
Whoa!
Whoa!!
That's amazing.
Amazing!
♪ Yep a dip dip, bip a ditty yip ♪
( repeating )
( laughter )
( laughing louder )
NECKBEARD: What's so funny?
I'm just thinking how foolish and lame we are
compared to you.
Huh, yeah. That's pretty hilarious.
Oh, wow!
A statue for me of me?
I'm so flattered.
Oh, a bigger statue?
Thank you.
And you learned to dance, too?
I told Sylvia nothing bad would happen.
See, the more you know, the more you...
( Bitties screaming )
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Ye... no.
Please, we really need something.
Anything to stop Dominator.
Which is it, stop Dominator
or get rid of Dominator?
Because those are two different things.
Sounds like you need an ultimate weapon.
A stick?
A bow staff.
In the proper hands, it's the deadliest weapon...
- ( growling ) - ...but you wouldn't know...
Zapping device-- what, where, how?
Translocate.
Okay, okay.
Oblivion mirror.
It'll magically transport anything
to the farthest regions of the universe,
never to return, but it only works once,
so you gotta be careful.
Finally. Things are lookin' up.
( Bitties shrieking )
Empathy, not enemies.
Please there's plenty more impressive things in the galaxy
to be into than little ol' me.
There's supernovas and meteor showers and puppies and banjos
and best friends and triple pickle pie and--
Do you have any idea what you've done?
( screaming )
These guys were mint in box.
They aren't ready to understand a bigger universe.
They've already seen too much.
That's crazy.
The more you know, the more you grow.
Wrong, 'cause nobody knows more than me.
And what they don't know won't hurt them.
Here. Oblivion mirror.
Use this on Dominator to send her wherever you want.
Now get outta here!
You mean it was right there the whole...
Oh, never mind. I thought we'd never get outta here.
But Sylvia, the Bitties.
Buddy, I know, but we've got bigger problems
than those small fries.
If we don't stop Dominator, there may be no galaxy.
Besides, aren't they better off not knowing about
all the horrible stuff that's out there?
- No. - Good. - Wait, what?!
Hey, nay! I say nay!
( Bitties screaming )
NECKBEARD: Magic. Magic, magic, magic, magic!
Magic, magic, magic, magic. Magic!
Just because you act like you know everything
- doesn't mean you do. - Magic!
You can't keep other people in the dark
just to make yourself seem smart.
Magic, magic, magic. Magic, magic. Magic!
Magic!
Wow!
( growling )
( deep voice ) Magic!!
Hey! I have what you want,
you have what I want. Unwinnable situation.
Now give me the orb.
Wander, we need that mirror.
But Sylvia, everybody deserves a chance
to try and understand the universe.
( all squeaking )
Sorry, buddy.
Say good-bye to your Bitties.
'Cause they're goin' on a long trip.
Yo, know-it-all. Catch!
Not in the face, not in the face!
Noooo!
Not cool. They're too small and stupid
to survive out there in the universe.
They're too primitive. They're...
( squeaking )
...totally fine?
Sylvia, that mirror only had one use.
We won't be able to send Dominator away.
Good. That'll give the Bitties a fresh new galaxy to explore
where nobody else can mess with 'em.
And I'm sure, if we keep exploring,
we'll figure something else out, too.
After all, the more you know, the more you grow, right?
You are totally gonna pay for that.
That'll be 17.50 for the mirror
and 37.99 for the orb.
That's amazing!
Amazing!
( Theremin playing )
( Bitties exclaiming )